Sunday
4th April 2021
It's kind of funny I feel that I don't often talk about my faith for fear of turning people away from it. Allow me to try and explain that a little. I have never been the kind of person that beats others over the head and tell them that their going to hell if they don't repent their sins. I never felt that it was my place and felt awkward when others did it to me. The other side of that, especially since transition is that I didn't want the church I belong to get any negative blow back for allowing someone like myself to attend. Yes, even still I have a lower opinion of myself than I should have but my problem is that I care what others think. No so much about what they think of me anymore, but what they think of the people who support me. I don't want them to lose patronage as a result of my attendance.
I know that there will be some reading this who will say things like that don't see me as anything different than the woman I present as. They know who I am and I appreciate them more than they will ever realise. These are the people that give me hope, not just acceptance, but a spiritual home to go with that where I am missed when I don't attend.
Over the past few weeks, I haven't been able to attend my regular Church Service mainly because my car has given up and I have a lend car at the moment that I'm trying only to drive when necessary. This on top of a bout of flu that I have been dealing with that has seen me spend sometime in bed trying to rest up. Also, over this past month, I have taken on a new role as an Assistant Centre Manager at a new center. More about this in another chapter, but it goes without saying that I have been throwing myself deep into my work and probably neglecting my own needs.
This week, being Easter weekend, I decided to make an extra effort to attend and touch base with those who I have missed over the last few weeks. Little did I know what was to come of this meeting and how I would be feeling after it.
For those he didn't read my last update back from August last year......(Yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it had been that long also. Need to change that, that's for sure). would know that I have been and continue to be a member of the Salvation Army. Although now a days, I'm not in uniform anymore, my hope is one day that I get to wear it again proudly as I once did. Over the month of December it was announced that our Corp was receiving new Officers. Now, I must admit, this filled my heart with terror because I'd built quite a bond with our current Officers and felt both welcomed and safe with them around. I didn't know anything about these new Officers and worried if they would accept me in the same way.
I needn't of worried because after they were installed, I had the opportunity to talk to Katie, one of our new officers. Now, nothing against Matt her husband, but as I have mentioned in the past, I have a deep seeded mistrust for males and I struggle to talk to them. Katie reassured me during our conversation that I was very much welcomed to be there. Over the coming weeks, I saw her words turn into action as she seemed to stand for everything I stood for. We both have a thing for inclusive practice but in our own fields. These officers were acknowledging the first and traditional owners of this land as well as having worked with the LGBTQI Community.
Today, took that to a whole new level for me. As I listened to todays bible reading as we recounted the events of that very first Easter when Jesus had gone through unimaginable torture and pain at both the hands of the Roman Empire and the Jewish Judicial body (Sanhedrin), that saw him whipped, beaten, crucified and stabbed before he died. He was taken down of the cross, wrapped in the traditional Hebrew way with white cloths and then placed in a tomb with a large stone placed in front of the entrance to seal the tomb. We then heard how the two Mary's went to visit the tomb with Joanna to perform a ceremony with spices only to discover that Jesus had left the building leaving two angels to explain the events.
Now, I like many others there had heard this story before and without giving to much away. "He Is Risen". The thing that many of us focused on was who is this Joanna lady who suddenly appeared. Don't recall her popping into the story before but Katie who herself researched and discovered Joanna mention in Luke 24:10. put all our minds at rest.
This was what really got me. Katie posed the question, what would of happened if Jesus did rise from the dead that first Easter Sunday? Well, there wouldn't be an Easter Sunday, their wouldn't be the New Testament and possibly not even a church. Christians from all around the world wouldn't know that Jesus even existed let alone was crucified for our sins. "He hung there for our Sins". tough words to hear for a believer, imagine how hard that must be for a non believer. From this point the service went a little off script and headed off on its own tangent.
With the passion of witnessing so many things that have been done so wrong in the church and knowing how things could be so much different with a bit or mutual respect, Katie began speaking about how the church needs to be more encompassing and respectful of those who come from different back grounds. To see each other as people first before looking for the differences in each other.
For too many years, the churches attitude to certain minorities has turned people away from the church with their double standards. I myself felt and obviously still feel that because of who I am, will I be accepted. I know with the Church Family that I have now, I am accepted. It doesn't stop the occasional double take from visitors that walk through the door. Last year, as an example, our Corp was visited from the Melbourne City Staff Band. I was actually so excited to see them as it had been such a long time since hearing a traditional Salvation Army Band in a citadel. The music itself, didn't disappoint but unfortunately the message was traditional Salvation Army and not very inclusive. That day and today I was both moved to tears for two very different reasons.
It was so refreshing hearing someone spell out my journey without actually referencing me because it was about me. It was about everyone who had felt unwelcomed, unneeded and unloved. It was about those people who come in, who have swallowed their pride to ask for assistance to feed their families and offered that assistance and given hope. After all, that's what today is all about, Hope.
If we as a church, can't offer that basic human need of hope, why are we even here?
This chapter wasn't the one that I had meant to send out today. I actually have another one that I had part written but not completed but as happens with me, at times, what I set out to write becomes something else entirely different. As God spoke through Katie today, I like to think God works through my words and directs me where he feels I need to be.
Katie, I dedicated this one to you because no one has moved me so much as you did today. You have a gift and a passion that I admire so much and we as a church are so blessed to have both you and Matt lead us into the future. Thank you so much for delivering the message that I so badly needed to hear today.
One more thing I need to say about today. I am so very blessed to have my amazing church family by my side. When it was obvious today that Katie's words were working through me and my emotions started to react, it was so nice for someone to reach out and hold my hand as we prayed together. She will be reading this now so Thank You Liz for sharing this very powerful moment with me today.
Sharon
