What Is Inclusive Practice Anyway?.........(Chapter 21)

 

Wednesday 

4th January 2022

Inclusive practice, what is it? Why is it so important in Childcare? How do I embed it in my service?  These are just some of the questions I have been asked over the years as an Educational Leader and someone who focuses on Inclusive Practice. 

The Cambridge Dictionary defines Inclusive as: An inclusive group or organization tries to include many different types of people and treat them all fairly and equally. It further defines Practice as: something that is usually or regularly done, often as a habit, tradition, or custom. In short, in respect to the Early Childhood Sector, it's about making our services more accessible and welcoming to everyone regardless of their backgrounds. The question still remains, why is this so important? Allow me to explain with a few different scenarios. 

Around 65,000 years ago, the first Australians landed on our shores from around the islands of Southeast Asia. They came to this country we now know as Australia when the sea levels were at a lower point and the land between Australia and New Guinea was less of a challenge to travel across by sea. Indigenous Australian's lived off the land and the oceans surrounding the country eating berries, fish and land animals that they hunted with their tools that they made with their hands using what was available on the land. They set up communities and passed down stories from the Elders through dreamtime stories and Aboriginal Paintings left behind in caves and walls so that their rich culture was passed down through the generations of Aboriginal children who one day would become the Elders of those same communities. 

Just over 200 years ago, the British landed on the once peaceful Aboriginal homelands and set about setting up a colony where they could send their convicts. In the process of this, the British cleared and destroyed vast amounts of lands, slaughter countless Aborigines and as was popular at the time with the British, use indigenous people as Slaves. They Raped and pillaged what they could from the Aboriginals and forced them to live under their rules. 

I often use this as an example for children when I try and explain what that would be like in a way that the children can understand. "It's kind of like me turning up at your house and telling you that this is now my place, and you can't live here anymore. You and your family who have been living here for years now have to move and you also have to live by the rules I tell you. How does that make you feel?" The answer is the same every time, Sad!

Children have a way of understanding things more than we give them credit for at times. They are influenced by those around them including their families and peers. For too many years when I was growing up, I was taught to believe that the Aboriginals were nothing but an excuse to make fun of. There were a whole host of Aborigine jokes that I now cringe over even thinking of uttering them to others. One of them doing the rounds was that Aboriginals were referred to as boongs because that was the sound, they made when hitting a car bumper. You see, we all believed because that's all we knew that the Aboriginals spent most of their days walking the streets in a drunken stupor and cars would often hit them on dole day as they cashed their dole payment. Obviously, highly offensive but again, this is how many of us grew up with the influences around us. Thankfully, my views have changed dramatically over time. 

It strikes me as odd that we claim to be the lucky country and welcome anyone and everyone to our country to build a better life, but the reality is, that many people are still stuck in the past and afraid of what they don't understand. Deep down, there is a horrible racist undertone in this country and sadly, it's in own Parliments with some of our politicians being the worst offenders.  I consider myself a person that is Inclusive of all cultures and many times over the years I have heard horror stories from other Educators that have come here from other countries to build a better life for themselves and their families only to be told that their qualifications are not good enough and get treated like outsiders from the get-go. They are taunted with racist remarks and in some cases it's almost a case in some services that it's the white Australians on one side and the multi-cultural Australians on the other side. I have seen less qualified white Australians promoted over more qualified Indian Australian's. I had once had an Asian Educator tell me that she was so sadden at being considered as different from Anglo Australian's that she was going to have an operation on her eyes to make herself appear more westernised.  Unfortunately, there are many more stories like these I've heard over the years and sadly things are not getting better.

We as Educators have a chance to change this by teaching our children to be accepting and more tolerant of different cultures instead of fearing them. Incorporate cultural events into your program's curriculum. Embrace different languages, foods, customs and traditions. Focus on the children in your room, find out what their family backgrounds and talk about the countries that their families come from. Get the parents involved and invite them in to talk about experiences and places from their childhood. 

We also need to do better at acknowledging Aboriginal Culture than just recognising it only during NAIDOC week and Sorry day. We need to be embedding it into the center and its philosophy but how do we do that? Get in contact with the Elders in your area. Don't know where to start, begin with your local council. They will point you in the right direction. Looking into PD courses that teach how to incorporate an Aboriginal Perspective while respecting the culture. I can suggest getting in contact with Jessica Staines and her amazing Koori Curriculum. There are also some amazing resources from MTA and Educating kids from floor mats that have all the different Mobs scattered around Australia to some beautiful Dreamtime stories. It is so important to explore this rich and beautiful culture from its music, dancing and stories. It's all simple things that can be done. 

Of course, there is another group that we need to include in our look at Inclusive practice. The LGBTQI community. Why you ask? Kids don't need to hear about that. I don't want them pushing the agenda on my child. The truth is, that no one is trying to push any agenda on anyone. The simple fact is that more and more same sex families are enrolling their children in daycare. There are more Educators and people in the general community that are finding the courage to step out of the closet and revealing that they are Transgender. The simple fact is that children are bound to run into at some time someone from the LGBTQI community and they need to be given the tools on how to negotiate that interaction. Gone are the days, in this country at least that people are locked up for the sexuality. 

Like all these different minority groups, they have been judged, persecuted and mistreated in the past and we have the power to change that by incorporating Inclusive Practice into our curriculums.

  

He Is Risen............(Chapter 20).......Dedicated to Katie

 

Sunday 
4th April 2021

It's kind of funny I feel that I don't often talk about my faith for fear of turning people away from it. Allow me to try and explain that a little. I have never been the kind of person that beats others over the head and tell them that their going to hell if they don't repent their sins. I never felt that it was my place and felt awkward when others did it to me. The other side of that, especially since transition is that I didn't want the church I belong to get any negative blow back for allowing someone like myself to attend. Yes, even still I have a lower opinion of myself than I should have but my problem is that I care what others think. No so much about what they think of me anymore, but what they think of the people who support me. I don't want them to lose patronage  as a result of my  attendance.

I know that there will be some reading this who will say things like that don't see me as anything different than the woman I present as. They know who I am and I appreciate them more than they will ever realise. These are the people that give me hope, not just acceptance, but a spiritual home to go with that where I am missed when I don't attend. 

Over the past few weeks, I haven't been able to attend my regular Church Service mainly because my car has given up and I have a lend car at the moment that I'm trying only to drive when necessary. This on top of a bout of flu that I have been dealing with that has seen me spend sometime in bed trying to rest up. Also, over this past month, I have taken on a new role as an Assistant Centre Manager at a new center. More about this in another chapter, but it goes without saying that I have been throwing myself deep into my work and probably neglecting my own needs. 

This week, being Easter weekend, I decided to make an extra effort to attend and touch base with those who I have missed over the last few weeks. Little did I know what was to come of this meeting and how I would be feeling after it. 

For those he didn't read my last update back from August last year......(Yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it had been that long also. Need to change that, that's for sure). would know that I have been and continue to be a member of the Salvation Army. Although now a days, I'm not in uniform anymore, my hope is one day that I get to wear it again proudly as I once did. Over the month of December it was announced that our Corp was receiving new Officers. Now, I must admit, this filled my heart with terror because I'd built quite a bond with our current Officers and felt both welcomed and safe with them around. I didn't know anything about these new Officers and worried if they would accept me in the same way. 

I needn't of worried because after they were installed, I had the opportunity to talk to Katie, one of our new officers. Now, nothing against Matt her husband, but as I have mentioned in the past, I have a deep seeded mistrust for males and I struggle to talk to them. Katie reassured me during our conversation that I was very much welcomed to be there. Over the coming weeks, I saw her words turn into action as she seemed to stand for everything I stood for. We both have a thing for inclusive practice but in our own fields. These officers were acknowledging the first and traditional owners of this land as well as having worked with the LGBTQI Community. 

Today, took that to a whole new level for me. As I listened to todays bible reading as we recounted the events of that very first Easter when Jesus had gone through unimaginable torture and pain at both the hands of the Roman Empire and the Jewish Judicial body (Sanhedrin), that saw him whipped, beaten, crucified and stabbed before he died. He was taken down of the cross, wrapped in the traditional Hebrew way with white cloths and then placed in a tomb with a large stone placed in front of the entrance to seal the tomb. We then heard how the two Mary's went to visit the tomb with Joanna to perform a ceremony with spices only to discover that Jesus had left the building leaving two angels to explain the events. 

Now, I like many others there had heard this story before and without giving to much away. "He Is Risen". The thing that many of us focused on was who is this Joanna lady who suddenly appeared. Don't recall her popping into the story before but Katie who herself researched and discovered Joanna mention in Luke 24:10. put all our minds at rest. 

This was what really got me. Katie posed the question, what would of happened if Jesus did rise from the dead that first Easter Sunday? Well, there wouldn't be an Easter Sunday, their wouldn't be the New Testament and possibly not even a church. Christians from all around the world wouldn't know that Jesus even existed let alone was crucified for our sins. "He hung there for our Sins". tough words to hear for a believer, imagine how hard that must be for a non believer. From this point the service went a little off script and headed off on its own tangent. 

With the passion of witnessing so many things that have been done so wrong in the church and knowing how things could be so much different with a bit or mutual respect, Katie began speaking about how the church needs to be more encompassing and respectful of those who come from different back grounds. To see each other as people first before looking for the differences in each other. 

For too many years, the churches attitude to certain minorities has turned people away from the church with their double standards. I myself felt and obviously still feel that because of who I am, will I be accepted. I know with the Church Family that I have now, I am accepted. It doesn't stop the occasional double take from visitors that walk through the door. Last year, as an example, our Corp was visited from the Melbourne City Staff Band. I was actually so excited to see them as it had been such a long time since hearing a traditional Salvation Army Band in a citadel. The music itself, didn't disappoint but unfortunately the message was traditional Salvation Army and not very inclusive. That day and today I was both moved to tears for two very different reasons. 

It was so refreshing hearing someone spell out my journey without actually referencing me because it was about me. It was about everyone who had felt unwelcomed, unneeded and unloved. It was about those people who come in, who have swallowed their pride to ask for assistance to feed their families and offered that assistance and given hope. After all, that's what today is all about, Hope. 

If we as a church, can't offer that basic human need of hope, why are we even here? 

This chapter wasn't the one that I had meant to send out today. I actually have another one that I had part written but not completed but as happens with me, at times, what I set out to write becomes something else entirely different. As God spoke through Katie today, I like to think God works through my words and directs me where he feels I need to be. 

Katie, I dedicated this one to you because no one has moved me so much as you did today. You have a gift and a passion that I admire so much and we as a church are so blessed to have both you and Matt  lead us into the future. Thank you so much for delivering the message that I so badly needed to hear today. 

One more thing I need to say about today. I am so very blessed to have my amazing church family by my side. When it was obvious today that Katie's words were working through me and my emotions started to react, it was so nice for someone to reach out and hold my hand as we prayed together. She will be reading this now so Thank You Liz for sharing this very powerful moment with me today.   

Sharon

Blood, Fire and Spirit. (Part 19)

 

Tuesday 11th August 2020

I'm going to take you back in time a couple of years for this one taking you back to part way through 2018. I had just been offered a  new position at a service in Pakenham which I had visited on a couple of occasions already as relief staff. The center was amazing and to be honest, it would have to be to leave the service that I had already been working for the last few months where I had made quite a name for myself  as an Educational Leader and fitted in well with all the amazing educators that I was working with. 

Pakenham had that wow factor, it had a beautiful front foyer and welcoming staff that made you feel comfortable straight away. The yards were amazing, especially the Kinder Yard and I was just awestruck with the way the management team related to the Educators there. It was something that i had missed over the previous last year. When I was offered the position, I jumped at it and within a week of being there was called into the back office. I sat down with the Director and her second and was asked how I felt about the service. I told nervously them (no one enjoys being called into an office anywhere as it doesn't always end in good news and I had had my share of bad news in that previous year) that I was feeling really good about the move and felt like I was getting along with everyone really well. The Director seemed happy with that reply and went on to say that she had heard nothing but great things from all the educators and families that she had spoken to. She then went on to offer me a role as Room Leader for her Big 2s room. I hadn't room lead a two year old room before and was not sure how my style of teaching would relate to this age group but I was up for the challenge. My reply to her was pretty typical of me, "Let me think about that for a moment...Ah, yes". 

So, it was decided, I spent the next week doing handover with the previous Room Leader and met my two amazing assistants. One thing that I can always say is that I have been very lucky in my life to have some awesome assistants. Jess and Elvie were two of the finest. We clicked together so well and turned the whole room around. Quite literally, we redesigned the room, redesigned the focus in the room and concentrated on doing lots of mini projects focusing on each Childs interest.  Before long we had the children talking about subject matter that they hadn't even thought of before but taking it home and telling their parents. I'll never forget the conversation that I had with a mum during that time all excited about something she witnessed her son doing over that weekend. She told me that she found her son drawing a picture of a man, she decided to ask who the man was. The child thought for a moment and replied "It's Neil Armstrong", bewiled she asked, "Who's Neil Armstrong"? Her almost 3 year old looked up and said "He was the first man on the moon". The Mum told me that she was so surprised that he knew this and had to Google to see if he was right. 

It was during this time I had noticed one of the parents who brought her child in always came in wearing a Salvation Army top. Having been a Salvo many years before, I wasn't sure whether to approach her or not feeling anxious because of being transgender. Sounds stupid now looking back, but she almost scared me because I was worried how she would react if I ever had her child in my care. I didn't know if she was an officer or someone who worked in one of the Thrift Shops, I just knew she was a Salvo. 

As time progressed, towards the end of the 2018, we started transitioning children to get them used to their new rooms. As luck would have it, one of the children was the child of the Salvo lady that I was more or less avoiding conversation with. This child was an absolute ball of energy and a joy to have visiting in my room over the course of the transition period. One of the days, I noticed her sitting in a big wooden box that I had in the room. The children would usually build it into a cubby house or something similar, but here was this child doing something totally different. I approached the child and asked her what she was doing. Firstly, I should explain that she was sitting in this box with a block in her hand moving it from left to right and making some odd noise. The child looked at me and said these immortal words, "I'm driving to Church, do you want to come with me?" 

That was definitely an OMG moment, it was like she knew that I was having problems with communicating with her Mum while at the same time knowing something that I was desperately missing. If you have read previous parts to my journey, you would now how much the Salvation Army has meant in my life and here was this child inviting to drive me there. I didn't get to tell mum that night and wasn't sure how to approach her about it but knew that she had to know. Its a tradition with most centers that they have their end of year break up party for the kids and families. I noticed Mum was there and decided that now was the time to tell her what I saw. 

Mum looked at me, smiled and said, you need to come. I told her about my  reservations and that I didn't want to make any of the congregation feel uncomfortable  with my presence. She explained to me that Pakenham Corp has some very progressive thinking Officers and that they would love to have me there. Sure enough, the next time I saw her at the center she told me that she had spoken to her officers about me and they reiterated her feelings saying that they want me there. I got some details from her and told her I would thing about it. 

One Sunday morning she messaged me and told me that she had had a dream that night that God had told her that she needed to tell me that I had to be there today. I'm like really, why today especially? She told me she didn't know but she had past on the message and done her part, the rest was up to me. I asked her what time the service started and she replied that it started at 10am. I'm like, it's 8:30am now and I'm still in bed. 

Somehow, in an hour and a half, I managed to jump in the shower, get dressed and drive the 30min drive to Pakenham to arrive a couple of minutes after 10am. I walked into that hall and although I can't quite explain it but I felt home straight away. The Mum came up to me and asked me to sit with her and I did. I remember standing up singing the songs that were being projected on the screen and thinking this feels right. Every so often, one of the lines in the song were being amplified at me from the mum with an occasional wink to say, that's you. 

During the service, they had a commitment ceremony  which is like the Salvation Army version of a baptism. The family that was dedicating their baby was from Nigeria, I at that time had just met a Nigerian girl online called Lara. I'm like, what are the chances that in the middle of Pakenham, on the day I attend church for the first time in years a Nigerian child is being dedicated. The sermon began and it was all about Inclusion and Inclusive practice partially in relation to the church and how in the past they have ignored certain people and that time had passed. One of the songs we sung after the sermon and to end off the meeting was from one of my favorite Christian artists, Michael W Smith. That was it for me, if I needed any other signs that I was meant to be there I would have just been trying to avoid the unavoidable. 

After the service, I was introduced to both the officers and straight away, I knew what the Mum was tying to tell me. They were both so down to earth and full of compassion. The rest of the congregation introduced themselves to me one by one over a cup of coffee and a plate of biscuits and the feeling of finally being home again hit me. Over the following weeks I became a regular fixture around the Corp and one Sunday, I decided to give my testimony about how I had been searching, wanting and hoping to get back to church but was worried about how I would be received as a result. I went on to say that from the moment I walked into Pakenham Corp, I felt immediately at ease and that was a testament in itself to the congregation that had built that and I thanked them for allowing me to be with them. 

I was surprised at the end of it when some of the older Salvos came over to me after the service and told me that I'd really touched a place in their hearts and began thanking me. From that point on, Pakenham was my home and although I was working in Pakenham and traveling 30mins each day for work, I was more than happy to do the same on a Sunday to be with my Salvo family. 

During this time I have made some amazing connections that I know will last a life time and some unfortunately ran out when my usefulness ran out. Some lessons are very hard to learn at times and although I was getting warning signs from friends around me along the way I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt until I saw it with my own eyes what was happening. I'm not going into anymore detail than that because sadly, those feelings are still pretty raw and to be honest, I'm left feeling foolish because I thought I was helping when in actual fact I was only enabling the bad decisions that this person was making.  

Over the course of 2019 I was becoming more and more imbedded in the Army and even at one point considered going back into uniform. I wasn't sure exactly how that was going to work but it was a real possibility at the time. Pretty soon, it was my favorite time of year roll around. Red Shield Appeal Sunday. Something I always looked forward to. In the past I door knocked, played chicken on the road at the traffic lights dodging cars and stood in shopping centers beside the kettle. Every year after the appeal we would go back to the Corp and the ladies there would feed us while some would sit at tables and count the donations coming in. It was a real feeling of community and I actually missed being apart of that. Red Shield 2019 was very different to those days, no more door knocking, little traffic light work due to restrictions which left Shopping centers and Bunnings and the Red Shield Sunday became a two week appeal. 

That first day I volunteered for Bunnings, let me tell you, I have a new found respect for the door greeters at Bunnings after that because nothing is colder than sitting in the wind tunnel they call the front doors at Bunnings. It was so freaking cold that no amount of clothing was going to warm me up. The following week I volunteered for the shopping center and loved every minute of it. As I was working in Pakenham, I knew a lot of the families walking past and it was a change to see them in a different light. Of course the children would do the usual double take when they look at you and try and figure out where they know you because your not in the usual uniform. 

Around May 2019 I had fallen into another slump thanks to my depression. I fell into a complete hole and struggled to climb out of it. To me, everything that I had worked so hard for over the years was being threatened again. I was becoming consumed by the black hole that left me feeling what's the point of going on. It was the Salvos that help save me from that. My officer rang me up one day after the Sunday service in which I hadn't attended. He asked if I was ok, I told him I was struggling to function. Later that day, he and his wife rolled up on my doorstep with donuts looking for coffee and to sit with me for a while, I told them what was happening and they both stuck by me through one of the darkest moments in my career. 

It was around this time that I was recording an interview with the amazing Dr Ruby Red Scarlet for her upcoming online course, "My Friend Has Two Mums: Gender and Sexuality in Early Childhood". Incidentally, this amazing course featuring me is happening again on the 1st September 2020. I will leave a link to the Multiverse site on the Inclusive Educator Facebook page. I remember during the interview being filled with sadness about the predicament I was in and that projected in the interview as being somewhat negative in certain aspects. After the interview Red ask me what was happening and I explained to her. She gave me some amazing advice as you would expect and from that point began crawling back out of the hole. We decided to re-record the interview and I'm so glad we did because the second version was amazing an exactly the message I wanted to get across in the first place. 

Towards the end of 2019, I met a girl who I liked very much. I decided to spend my weekends getting to know her better as weekends were our only time to catch up as she lived in the city. I always intended to go back to the Salvos, they helped me through some tough time but at the time, I had to give my all to my new relationship. The new year rolled around, Covid broke out, the relationship broke down  and before long, restrictions became the new normal. I still keep in contact with my church family but not seeing them every week to catch up and share that experience has been hard.

 I was never a smash you over the head with my beliefs especially my religious ones.  I believe that is up to the individual, me forcing people to go to church is only going to make them rebel more. I have many friends now, and yes, some of them happen to be atheist's and one in particular is probably  reading this now. I don't question her beliefs as she doesn't directly question mine. Some of her posts though I must admit make me squirm but then I think she's entitled to her opinion as I am entitled to mine and I just scroll past. 

Hopefully by Christmas 2020, we can all be together again but sadly I doubt it given the current Covid climate. Until we all do met again in that very precious, newly repainted.......yet again,  church, I want to just say to all at Pakenham Corp, thank you so much for making me feel so welcome over the past couple of years and knowing that I will always have a home among you. Thank you also to the little girl who offered to drive me to church. Who knows, with one more lifestyle change, that uniform could still become a reality.

Sharon Priestley

I don't usually do this but I would like to dedicate this blog to two very special girls, Zoe for offering me a lift and to Jasmine who inspired me to write again. Thank You both. 

It"s Always Been A Matter Of Trust.......(Part 14)

Saturday 29th December 2018

I guess you could say I have been taking a break over the last few months so I could concentrate on my day job. I have also been working on a few new ideas for posts that will be coming up over the coming weeks and months so rest assured this journey is far from over. To every that continues to send me messages of support, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and hope that you will continue to enjoy these posts. To the people who have just discovered these, welcome aboard this wild ride that is my life. Please feel free to go back and checkout some of my earlier posts that you will find on my home blog page or by accessing them through my Facebook home page for the Inclusive Educator. 

Today I wanted to take you back when I was a child and take you through some events that have shaped my life into the person I am today. Please understand this may not be easy to read some of this due to some of the content involved and a some of it I havn't had the courage to speak about before to many if any people. 

I have always had an issue in my life with trust. Sometimes I trust people to easy and get hurt quite a bit as a result. Males I have also struggled to trust. I have tried in the past to trust them, but more often than not, they betray that trust. I'm not saying all males are like this because it's simply not true. Its just something I personally have a problem with because of past experience. In my life now, I have really only one male friend and he only became that way because he is married to one of my best friends. He is the reason that I still have faith in males as a species. He is an amazing husband to my friend and is a loving and supportive Dad to his children and has excepted me into his family "Village" with a huge amount of trust associated with that. 

Sadly, that wasn't always to be the case along my journey. Heading back to school, I always found it hard trying to relate to the boys in my class. As I grew up in the country, most of them all had farming backgrounds or were great at sports whether it be athletics, football or basketball. They mostly talked about cars, farm machinery or sport. None of which interested me. As I have previously mentioned in earlier blogs, I know nothing about cars and I have no sporting ability what so ever. Sure, I tried basketball and loved it but I was more out there to force the fouls. Most games I would just get fouled off and spend the remainder of the game on the bench. I was involved in Little Athletics and never one a race, best I ever achieved was I came second last in a race and that was because the guy I was competing against had an artificial leg after he lost part of it inside a combine harvester. He was affectionately known as Plug for this reason I guess. We were doing a 400 hundred meter run and coming down the last 100 meters Plugs leg came loose from its bindings and fell off. All Plug could do was hop down towards the finishing line and it was during this time I passed him along the straight. You would have thought I had actually won the race I was that excited. 

I was once asked back in primary school, what did I want to be when I grew up. I thought for a while and came up with these three answers. I want to be a cook, an VFL Footballer or a truck driver. Two of these things had no chance of ever coming into fruition but I didn't want to sound like I was to much of a girl around all the testosterone that was around even in primary school. In reality, boys interests didn't interest me so it was more of a defence mechanism to try and not standout to much. At this stage in my life, I had pretty much put it all together in figuring out who I was. 

I was a Cub Scout when I was younger also. Along with many of the children in my class. I actually enjoyed putting on the uniform and heading off every Wednesday night (for memory) to participate in learning bush skills and helping the community. Bob a Job time was a personal favourite as I got to go out and do things to help others and get a donation for doing it. During this time it was announced that we would be having a weekend away to some place near by where we will be camping and doing some rock climbing and abseiling. This sounded like a great adventure to me although I had no idea what abseiling was but I was willing to give it a go. 

Who in their right mind, jumps off a cliff face backwards tied to a flimsy piece of rope. Oh my goodness, was I in for a rude shock. I remember standing on that rock face scared out of my shoes. I'm not sure how I completed the jump, but somehow I did and actually loved it. That night we were all in our tents. I was sitting there very proud that I had actually found the courage to do this thing when two guys from the neighbouring tent asked me if I wanted to come over to their tent for a bit. I thought, might as well because I was by myself in my tent so I headed over to their tent. I had known these two guys for quite a while now, we had attended the same school since we began our schooling life so it was a fair enough assumption that I would be ok. Sadly I was wrong, upon entering the tent, one of them tried to pull down my pants and sexually assault me while the other one sat in front laughing at me. 

I was so scared, I was trapped in a situation that I didn't even know was possible. I was extremely naive back then and had little to no knowledge of what was happening other than I knew it wasn't right. To give you an idea of exactly how naive I was back then, I actually didn't even realise that boys and girls had different body parts. Apart from girls having breasts, I didn't know there was even a difference. I just knew I preferred being around girls to guys. I remember asking my mother once "When a baby is born, how do they tell if its a boy or girl?" I was quite intrigued about it and wanted to know how this was achieved. My Mother gave me a look like Seriously followed up closely by "Go ask your Father". Can't remember if I asked him in the end, I think the look of disbelief kind of put me off the idea. 

That night I went back to my tent and lay there in my sleeping bag wondering what had happened. I was upset for allowing myself to trust these two guys who had done some pretty ordinary things in the past but I thought or hoped that they had moved on a bit. I decided never to tell anyone because I wasn't even sure what to say. So it was decided, I didn't tell the Cub leaders or my parents or anyone else. I have blocked it out till now. It was all about self preservation for me at the time, I just figured that no one would believe me anyway. 

That was probably where my distrust for males began. After that time it was just one thing after another. I had one child decided that it would be fun to humiliate me further in front of a group of friends. He decided that it would be fun to pee on me, so, without warning. He pulled it out and started peeing on my leg. This happened at my own house. Thankfully my Dad found out about this one and dealt with the situation. Again I was like confused wondering why me. 

A few years later after being tormented about my scar on my mouth from when I was born and the children at school coming up with their own version of events why it was split. Apparently I was giving oral sex to my Father and he split my mouth. I wasn't even sure what oral sex was then but leave it to the kids at my school to tell me exactly what it was. I was so disgusted and ended up telling my Aunt at first who was staying with us and then went on to tell my Dad. 

It was about this time that I discovered that the guy had been calling Dad all my life wasn't actually my Father. Apparently my biological Father dropped me off with my Mum at my Grandparents place claiming that no son of his could turn out like I was not long after bringing me home from the hospital. It turns out I had a few complications during birth including a Hair Lip which is why to this day I still bare the scare of my birth. He went onto imply that my Mother must of been with someone else to create me. With the help of my newly discovered Step-Dad, we tried to track him down to see if he was willing to see me but he refused. 

Although my relationship with my Step-Dad wasn't always smooth sailing, I had a lot of respect for him for what he has done for me over the years. He took me to countless specialist trips to Melbourne to try and help me with numerous different medical conditions that appeared over the years. The mere fact that we moved to the county in the first place was primarily so I could have a better chance at life because I had breathing issues in Melbourne. In short, he was and is the only person that I have called Dad and although I don't say it often enough, I love and respect everything he has done for me. 

On a side note, we achieved a huge milestone together on Christmas Day. My Dad after struggling to get his head around it for the last couple of years called me Sharon for the first time ever. This was a huge step because for 46 years years he has always known me as Darren (arghhhh, still hate that name) but I'm proud to say, he is getting there. It made my day so thank you Dad. It meant more than you will ever realise. 

Moving through on through school, I continued to go under the radar but at the same time I desperately craved friendships with anyone. I started to act out in class, sort of become the class joker just to get laughs but more often than not it would just wind up with me in a world of trouble. One class I never messed around in was Home Economics. My passion for cooking hadn't died and it was one of the only things in my life that brought me joy. My teacher at the time was Mrs Oldfield. She was amazing and truly an inspiration for me. She was kind with her time and always supportive and helpful. She was the kind of teacher that I hope I am today with my children. 

Eventually, it was time to move back to Melbourne as work was drying up in the country. People were leaving, businesses were closing and moving back to Melbourne was the only option for some. My respiratory system was a lot stronger now so it was all systems go. I was initially excited about heading to Melbourne. A fresh start for me at a new school would hopefully allow me to reinvent myself. Sadly that wasn't to be. The same old stuff that was happening at my old school was beginning to happen all over again. I was different and everyone sensed that and once again I became the scapegoat for anyone who felt like paying out on me. 

I found refuge once again with the girls in my class and they were supportive. The guys all had something to prove to one another. To the guys you fell under one of the following categories. You were either Gay, a Virgin, a nerd or one of them. I got classified as a Virgin. Didn't even know what that was back then but because I wore a white skivvy, that was my category. I didn't know whether to be offended or honoured. The truth is, I was but I didn't know it at the time. 

I ended up leaving school at the first opportunity I had. I went to work in a scrap metal yard which was horrific. It was my first job and it was a means to an end to get me out of the schooling system. From there I went to work for Coles as a trolley pusher. Hated that also. My real passion remained with cooking. By this stage I had collected so many cook books and begin to write my own recipes that I needed to do something to make it happened. 

I ended up getting a job at the Western Port Hotel in Hastings as a kitchen hand on the weekends. Saturday nights I would wash a mountain of dishes but on Sunday, I would go back into the kitchen and get to do some prep work with the Chefs. I loved this so much and it gave me some great experience but sadly, I didn't have a licence at the time and had to rely on my Dad to get me there but that wasn't always feasible so I left.

I ended up getting work in a restaurant in my home town as a kitchen hand. I was so excited to be working in a proper restaurant that specialised in French cuisine. To me I had made it finally. This was where my career was going to take off. Starting at the bottom I was going to learn everything I could, get my apprenticeship and become a Chef. The first Monday night I worked was very quite. Hardly anyone in the restaurant so it was a good opportunity to sample some food. First up was the garlic snails otherwise known as Escargot. I discovered then and there all about the concept of mind over matter. I put the snail in my mouth and thought this is actually quite good then my mind lost its control and thought about how when it rains, the snails come up out of the garden and sit on the footpaths and if you're not careful, pretty soon you will hear the crunching of shells under foot. It was about then during the thought process that I had to spit it out and dry desperately not to gag. I apologised to the Head Chef and he laughed it off much to my relief. A little later in the night, it had gone totally dead and we were the only two left in the kitchen. 

It was during this time that the Head Chef asked if I was with anyone. I wasn't at the time and I said no. He asked me if I was interested in anyone. I replied "Only Maddona". The truth is I loved Maddona so much. I so wanted to be her. She was everything I wish I could have been back then. Sexy, loved and wanted. 

The Chef seemed happy with this revaluation so I went onto tell him about the limited addition of Playboy that I had with Madonna in it. Now, have to explain something here. Back then, any poster, book or item of clothing that mentioned Madonna, I wanted. I even  knew people going to the Melbourne show and asked them if they would bring me back two Maddona showbags. I had pictures of her all over my walls and room. I had her albums and videos, I even took the day off one day just so I could head into Melbourne to be one of the first to see Desperately seeking Susan, Maddona's first ever movie. I was absolutely in love with her. It seemed a perfectly thing to have a copy of that edition of Playboy to add to the Maddona memorabilia. 

The Chef asked if he could see it. I told him yes and he said while its quite, do you want to get it knowing that i lived nearby. I said sure, so I set off on my bike to collect the much talked about copy of Playboy.  Upon my arrival back at the restaurant, he had a quick flick through it and placed it on the bench. He asked me to point out which were my favourite shots of her. I turned and opened up the pages to where Maddona appeared and the Chef came up behind me, took down my pants and proceeded to sexually assault me there in the kitchen of a deserted restaurant. Once again, I was scared and not knowing what to do. Had I brought this on myself by grabbing the magazine or did he just prefer young children. I wasn't even 18. Although their was no penetration, it still made me feel sick having him rub himself up against me. I was sad and confused. My dream job had turned into a nightmare. 

After he had finished he told me that he was going away for the weekend and wanted me to come along. I was worried what this would involved but also scared if I didn't go that I would loose my job and this was already my fourth since leaving school so I didn't want to go home and say that I'd lost another job. I told him that I would ask my Parents if I could go. I didn't know what else to say. As it turned out, I asked permission to go and quite rightfully they said no. Probably the first time in my life that I was happy to have a no. I went back the next day and told him i wasn't allowed to go and within the week I no longer had a job working in the hospitality field. 

I told myself there and then that I would never go back to working in kitchens again. I could never allow myself to fall into a situation like this again and leave myself open and vulnerable. It also fuelled my distrust in males. Didn't want to have to deal with another one again. I tried telling someone about this story once and it was met with a response of "Oh", like i was only telling them for shock purposes. No one makes this stuff up, its real and it happens to women all the time. Some guys think they have the right to take advantage of someone they see as weaker than them. No one has a right to treat another human being in this way. I am a strong advocate for saying no to any form of violence against women. Be it verbal, physical or emotional. I have been through all of it myself in my life and I'm willing to take a stand and tell guys that they need to do a better job. 

I started off by saying that this will not be an easy one to read and it shouldn't be given the content. We should feel very uncomfortable about Sexually assault and find a way to show the perpetrators of this that their few moments of joy can ruin someone's life and no one has that right to hold that power over you.

Sharon

Do you know I have an Indian background, yeah, I have a lot of Indian Sisters............(Part 13)

Saturday 22nd September 2018

Well, here we are again ready to document yet another chapter in this journey of mine. Its Saturday night and I have been ready to  post this one for a while now but wanted to get the wording right in my head before committing it to immortality here in blog form. 

This part of the journey is about my final days at the centre that I called home for five and a half years. One of the hardest decisions I ever had to face in my life but a decision that as hard as it was necessary to my growth in becoming the best Educator that I could become. 

This time a year ago, I was a room leader in a Junior Kinder room. I had been appointed the room leader of the room after the previous room leaders decided to step down from the room. I had been in the Kinder room where I had followed my children up from the previous year as their room leader. As I didn't have my Bachelor In Early Education, I became an assistant to the Kinder Teacher at the time. Going from room leading to being an assistant again is difficult for most Educators and I for one struggled with the concept as I had a totally different teaching style to the appointed Kinder Teacher so when the opportunity to head back into my own room came along, I leaped at it. 

It was nice to be back in my original room where I set about making it mine once more. Once again I was getting the positive feedback from the families that I was used to and I was really enjoying working with our new Interim management team. Our centre was going through it's own transition and I remember it being an exciting time for my centre. This centre had been my home for a very long time and I honestly felt like I was apart of something special making our centre even more exciting than what it had been previous. 

In that first month I learnt so much from our interim management team about more effective programming and documentation. We had weekly room leader meetings where we shared ideas amongst other members and I remember it being a happy and positive time.  I had decided to take a couple of weeks off to re-charge a bit. I always hated having to much time away from my kids and as a rule would at some point inevitably drop by for a visit to see them during my time off. Any longer than two weeks away would send me off the deep end. 

I eventually came back to work and found myself only a few weeks later away from work again and in hospital after a gall bladder removal. The pain was horrific and I remember thinking what on earth is happening to me. The pain was on the right side of my chest so I had a good feeling that it wasn't my heart so that at least put my mind a rest a bit, and after a few tests discovered that my gall bladder was in danger of rupturing which wasn't ideal, so it was decided to remove it. 

Funny story. While I was in emergency, I was called over to the triage window and she pushed the button under the next to allow me to come through and sit in her office. The Nurse asked me about the pain and I gave her a letter from my GP requesting that I was to be admitted straight away. The Nurse went through asking me the standard questions, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad would describe the pain at the moment?" Well, at this stage I would consider it a high 8-9 sort of pain. "Where abouts is the pain right now?" Well, its kind of centred around this area here, as I pointed to the area just under my right breast. She then asked me to describe the pain and I replied It hurts so much. "OK, are you on any medication at the moment?" I always dreaded this because I always struggled with the names of the medication I was on and usually did that thing where you try and give it a red hot go and wait for the Doctor/Nurse to correct you with the right answer. 

"Well I'm on Carzameeezapain for my Epilepsy" The Nurse corrects me and says "Carbamezepine", "Yeah, that one as well as Citalopram for Depression. I'm also on Astovastin." "Do you mean Atorvastatin?" "Yeah, the one for my cholesterol, and of course I'm on Hormones which is the Microgynon." The Nurse look over at me and asked "Why are you on Hormones for?" I looked back at her and I replied really. She looked at me for a few moments and said "Ohhh, I'm sorry, I thought you were taking them to help you through Menopause". all of a sudden the biggest smile spread across my face and I replied, "If I wasn't in so much pain right now, I'd walk over and give you a hug right now". I kind of got the feeling I made her day, I know she made mine. Later that day while I was having an x-ray done, the technician asked me the same questions and then added an extra question. "Before we do the x-ray, is there a chance you maybe Pregnant". Again I smiled and replied, "Not much chance but I appreciate you asking". 

I was off for three weeks recovering and finally got my clearance to go back to work with the stipulation that I couldn't lift over 5kgs. I thought that it wasn't going to be a problem so very excitedly I got ready to go back to work after being away from my kids for the last three weeks. I walked in happy and relieved to be back only to find out that because of the lifting restrictions, I wasn't able to return for my own safety. So I had to wait another 2 weeks before returning to work. I went home feeling so dejected that I couldn't even see my kids for fear they may of jumped on me and damaged me in some way. 

In total with the holiday I had and the operation recovery time I was off work for 7 weeks. When I did finally get back I felt lost, my best friend and the person I relied on being there each day to cheer me up was gone. I felt that loss so much knowing that I wasn't going to see Maida's happy smiling face greeting me each day left me feeling empty. I had been away from my kids for so long and found it hard to find my grove again. The centre was heading in a new direction with a new full time Director now and I just felt lost. So, I made one of the hardest decisions I had ever had to make. I decided that maybe it was time for me to head off in a new direction myself. 

One thing worried me about the whole thing, moving to a new centre meant that I had to start all over again building those relationships and bonds with families. How would they receive me? Would they accept me or reject me? How was this going to work? 

I decided the only way to find out was to update my resume and head out and cold canvas some other centres in my local area. One of these centres was approximately 9 minutes from home and was only two years old. It was close to the local school which was great because I could pick up my girls from school after work. 

One day after returning home from work, I received a call from a very bubbly young lady called Hayley. She had left a message asking me to give her a call regarding coming for a chat. I rang her back and arranged to meet her on the Friday. I can't explain it, although my confidence was low after the last couple of months and I felt that I had lost something, I knew that I had this Job. Something was telling me not to stress, that I had this. I walked in early as always, a bit of a trait of mine. I hate being late for anything so I will be that one that arrives somewhere 30 minutes early every time. I walked in confident and introduced myself to the lady behind the counter. She explained to me that Hayley hadn't arrived as yet but shouldn't be to far away. I took a seat and waited while looking at some of the literature on offer to read through about the centre. 

It wasn't long before I met this amazing lady known to me as Hayley. She was a powerhouse of energy at the same time claiming that she wasn't a morning person. She was bright, bubbly and set me at ease straight away with her relaxed yet professional manner. Hayley asked me to take a seat beside her and we started to chat about my experience and my passion for the work I do. While I was answering her questions, Hayley was thumbing her way through my portfolio which had my Resume, Qualifications as well as some sample documentation that I had written. Hayley stopped one of the pages that contained my Diploma and all of a sudden had a puzzled look on her face. I thought I'd fill that gap by saying, yes, sadly at this point my Certificates are in my old name not my new one but if you have a look further you will see I have included my birth certificate as well which reflects my name change. She looked up at me and I said to her, you do realised I'm transgender don't you. She suddenly smiled a huge beaming smile as I waited nervously for some sort of response. Hayley told me that she hadn't realised but she was so excited and happy to meet me. 

It was about this time that the front door behind me opened up and I heard this huge gasp from behind me. I quickly turned around to see one of my parents from a few years beforehand from my old centre. She ran towards me and gave me the biggest hug and very excitedly asked if I was getting a job at the centre. I replied "Well, I'm not sure but I'm kind of in the middle of an interview here to find out". With that, my ex-parent walked straight over to Hayley, still holding me and said to her, "You have to hire this girl, she is amazing and I wouldn't trust my child to anyone else but her". With that she let go, gave me another hug, wished me good luck and headed off with her child to her room. I looked over at Hayley and smiled feeling very good about myself and re-took my position in the chair opposite Hayley. Hayley then looked over at me and said, "That went pretty well for you didn't it." I replied , "Yeah, couldn't have planned that better if I tried." 

I think that was the moment she decided that she wanted me on the team. She asked me if I was interested in doing a trial day for her at some point. I told her my whole day was free today so I would be more than happy to work the day for her. I could tell she was like wow, didn't expect that. Pretty soon I was introduced to the amazing Yolanda. Yolanda was the 2nd in charge and just the most beautiful soul that you would ever want to meet. As soon as I met her I knew I was going to get along very well with her. 

I moved around a lot that first day from room to room and each room I went into, the same thing happened. Within a few minutes, every child in the room was standing or sitting around me talking to me. I remember being in the Kinder yard at one point through that day and saw out of the corner of my eye, a group of educators lined up along the fence looking at me interacting with the children. At this stage I had them hanging off me like they had known me for years. One of the educators at the fence called to me, "Omg, look at them. They love you. They wont leave your side." another one said, " I don't get it." I asked them what they meant. "The educator told me they love you that much that there climbing all over you and you only just met them, they don't even do this to us and we have known them for ages." I couldn't help but smile and reply that "It's always been the same way, I can't explain what it is but it happens every time". 

At the end of that first day, I went back to the office satisfied that I had done the best I could do and had an awesome day in the process. I asked both Hayley and Yolanda if they had had any feedback from the staff. Hayley told me that one of the staff told her that they may need to lift there game after witnessing my interactions over the day. Hayley offered me the job then and there telling me that she had made her mind up earlier and the feedback that she was getting just sealed the deal. I was so excited.

Within that first week of working at my new centre, Hayley told me that I she wanted to put me in the Kinder room to cover the Kinder teacher who was about to go on maternity leave. The plan was that I was going to co-run the Kinder room with another educator called Mandeep. I was so excited to be back in the Kinder  room as a room leader again. The Friday before I started in the Kinder room, I went into cover the Kinder Teacher for her break. The children were sitting on the mat and Mandeep was organising Afternoon tea for the children. I walked in, sat down on the mat, introduced myself to them and just did my thing. Within minutes, they were laughing with me and telling me about themselves. I started singing silly songs with the children and basically took over. 

When the break was over and the Kinder Teacher returned back to the room which was only ten minutes in total the children were asking me to stay and begging me not to go. I only went as far as the next room which was the Junior Kinder room which adjoined the kinder room. While I was in there doing another break I heard a little voice saying "Mum, you have to come and meet Sharon, she's so funny and sings silly songs". The Mum came over to me and introduced herself as Robyn and she told me that she was told she had to come and meet me. The little girl who stood by her was smiling so much and you could tell, something special had just taken place in her life and she wasn't about to let that feeling go. I'm happy to say that although that little girl has moved onto school now with her twin brother, she still has this amazing reaction whenever she See's me. Robyn has gone on to be one of my amazing friends and a huge inspiration to me and the main reason why I started these blogs in the first place. Robyn ended up at my place one night and we were talking about what an amazingly powerful tool the Internet is for raising your profile and anyone one with a half decent idea can turn anything into something special with some work. Robyn was the one who inspired me to blog about my journey, so thank you so much Robyn for believing in me and allowing me to be apart of your families journey. 

The following day, Saturday, there was to be a working bee at the centre. As usual, I arrived to early and set to work in my new room cleaning tables and chairs before starting on cleaning the shelving.  While I was moving around the room, I was soon joined by my co-room leader Mandeep. Mandeep said good morning to me as she set to work helping me to dust and clean the shelves. This was my first chance to talk to her without having the children around. I pretty much started the conversation by apologising for taking over  the mat time from the day before. It really wasn't my intention at the time, but it just sort of happened. Mandeep told me not to worry that it was ok and it gave her a chance to organise the fruit for afternoon tea. 

Mandeep and I spent our time in the room that day getting to know each other and laying the foundations to what has became a bond that will continue on for many years to come. When I arrived at this centre, I was broken, I was lost and didn't know if I could continue doing what I love so much. Mandeep picked me up, dusted me off and re-ignited that fire in me that made me remember why I love this job so much. Mandeep is one of the most kindest and most considerate people I have ever met. Her and the rest of the girls at our end of the building adopted me as one of their own and made me feel wanted, appreciated and very loved. Over the course of those first six months working together we became like family. Mandeep quickly became not only one of my best friends but my Sister. The very first day talking to her alone in the room I was actually worried that she may not accept me or have same reservations about working with me because of who I am but she put me at ease straight away that day just by talking to me. I remember one night we had a staff meeting and I told her that there wasn't much point in me going home after work then coming back for the meeting so I'd probably stick around for the hour before the meeting started doing some things in the room. Mandeep had finished at 3:30. Did the school pick up, went home, organised her children, cooked dinner for the family and brought some to work in a container for me because she was concerned that by the time I got home after the meeting that it would be to late to eat and she didn't want me to go hungry. 

Mandeep is just a beautiful soul full of so much love and compassion for her fellow humans and nothing is an effort for her. As we worked more and more together in the room we became almost synced to each others thinking pattens. The amount of times that I would say to the Mandeep, how about we do this, Mandeep would be like, I was just thinking of doing the same or vice verso. We had so many similar ideas that it became almost like a running joke. "Of course you were thinking the same as I was because we are Sisters." We spent that whole six months laughing, thinking similar thoughts if not the same ones and teaching some amazing children who meant the world to both of us. 

The both of us were so proud working with our amazing kids and watching them work so hard to get their dance steps right that Mandeep had choreographed with the help of her daughter for the graduation concert at the end of the year. Santa Claus is coming will always hold special meaning to me now after that night and the following days for approximately 5 times a day throughout the whole month of January. 

Mandeep, I can never stress to you enough how much you helped me and saved me from making a terrible mistake like almost walking away from this amazing life experience after feeling that I had lost my way. Like a beacon in a dark night, you showed me the way again and helped me see that I still have so much to give. You accepted me whole heartily as did your amazing family. One of my proudest moments was having the opportunity of watching you become an Australian citizen. You wouldn't have seen it, but i had tears in my eyes when you received your certificate but hey, your probably not surprised knowing that I cry at most things. You invited me to your home, you showed me how to cook like an Indian, dress like an Indian and showed me how to respect others with love and compassion like the way you were taught to. 

A short 8 months later, it was time for me to make another tough decision. Do I stay and be content with only seeing you in the hallways or over the fence or do I take a huge risk and move centres once again. The centre I'm moving to is bigger, more chance for advancement yet its further away from home and I don't see you and the rest of those amazing girls who are like family to me. I still have to admit I miss you all so very much and the amazing kids and families that I had to leave behind from both centres still hold a very special place in my heart. I know that we are still connected and will always be throughout life. God puts people in our lives for a reason and he knew what he was doing when he put you Mandeep, Kamal, Priya, Preeti, Daisy, Farzana, Suzi, Arti, Garima, Aneeta, Jennifer, Almira and Steph in my life. You all hold a place in my heart and I will never forget the love and compassion that you all showed me in those 8 amazing months that we had together. 

OK, I'm ready, Lets Make History!.....(Part 10)

Sunday 22nd July 2018

This next chapter or part of this journey, I have agonised over for the last month or so on how to write it and even if to write it at all. The reason being is that I want to protect as many people as I can from any form of negative feedback that may occur as result of my writing.  Not that I can foresee any negative feedback coming from this but a lot of people have stuck their neck out for me and supported me when it would have been so much easy to dismiss me, as my wife did for so many years, as someone with mental issues. So, I guess if I seem a little vague in places or a bit thin on content, please understand that it is for a reason. Having said that, I will try and explain as much as I can about the whole transition process as it is a very important part of this journey. 

A wise lady recently told me after hearing my story, that she didn't like me referring to my journey as my transition. I already knew who I was, it was up to every one else around me to transition. Those words have stuck with me since because she was absolutely right. I had known since the age of 11 who I was, I had imagined this point in my life for many years before and wondering if it would ever play out or was I going to be destined to live a life living locked behind my closet doors. 

From the moment that I sat down with my Director, after my Gender Psychologist appointment and had made the decision that I wanted to move forward and match the outside of my body with what I felt inside, everything all of a sudden became real. This was actually going to happen. My Director asked me how I wanted to go about it and I was like, I don't know, all I know is that I ready to make this happen. 

To my surprise, my Director had already been in contact with our governing body, the Department of Human Services (DHS) and asked them what we needed to do to stay within their guidelines. They replied by saying that they really weren't sure as I was the first educator in the Early Childhood Sector that had openly come out and had made the decision to transition. There was this moment between us in the office that day after hearing this that our centre was about to make history. They told my Director as long as I obtained a change of name or birth certificate reflecting my names, then it should be OK. 

That was exactly what I did, I eagerly sent away the form to Birth Deaths and Marriages and a few weeks later I had a brand new Birth Certificate reflecting my new name. Sharon Olivia Priestley was finally a realisation and not just an unachievable dream. As soon as I received my Birth Cert, the next step was to bring the rest of my ID up to date. Drivers Licence, Medicare, Bank Details, Lease Agreement on the unit I am living in. I can not explain the sense of joy I felt as I finally started seeing my name appear on my documents and that other name started disappearing from circulation. 

Probably a good time to explain why I chose Sharon Olivia. Sharon was always going to be my name my mother once told me if the Doctors had of told her that she had a girl. I kind of liked it, so I kept it and I thought that it was a way of connecting some part of the past to the future. Olivia is the name of one of my kids that I have had in my classroom over the years. She bonded to me pretty much straight away and became very possessive of anyone getting close to me, even her sister. She was four at the time, she's now  almost ten years old and she has learnt to share me with her Sister a bit more now a days. Both girls are like my little sisters, in fact that's how I actually introduce them now if anyone asks. The two girls and their parents have kind of adopted me as a member of their family now. Such was the impact Olivia and Maddie have  made on me over time. I could never imagine in my wildest dreams how much these two children could teach me about acceptance. 

I had told the two girls parents about what was about to happen and we decided that we needed to let the girls know before they found out through some other means. So we decided to sit the girls down together and explain to them as a family, what was about to happen. The conversation sort of went like, Mum feels like a girl inside and Dad feels like a boy inside and knows he is, as does Mum. Sometimes, people don't feel like that inside, sometimes some people look like boys but actually feel like a girl. That's what's happening to me and I want to change that so the outside matches my inside. The two girls looked at each other and said "OK". We all looked at each other for a moment and we further explained that I was going to be starting to dress more like a girl now and grow my hair out and change the way I looked. Again, Maddie and Olivia looked at each other and said "OK". With that we asked if they had any questions, which they said no and with that, they jumped off their chairs and walked away. I kind of felt instantly worried that I may loose these to beautiful kids that mean so much and have touched my heart in ways that I never felt possible but i needn't of worried. 

A few moments later the girls returned back to the table with a big box and laid it on the table. Both girls looked at each other then looked at me and I think it was Maddie who said, "We were wondering as because your becoming a girl, we wanted to give you a make over with our make-up". Even writing about this now I have tears in my eyes thinking about the love I have for these kids and how beautiful they are. As like now I felt the tears well in my eyes and I hugged them both so tightly and told them of course they could. That was the first of many make overs that I received from the girls. They gave me the full treatment. Eyes, Nails, Face, Hair, they had it covered. 

Meanwhile, back at my centre, things were moving there also. My Director had told me that she had got in contact with our Head-office and informed them about what we were doing and they reacted straight away by sending their top managers on courses to see how best to help and support me and the children during the transition process. I was blown away by this news, never had I expected to hear or feel that level of support from anyone, much less from my employer. 

My Director also told me that she had got in contact with a person from a group who specialised in helping mostly school based Educators to transition. To be honest, at this point I'd never heard of this group so I went along with it. I was given a contact number and during a break, called the number and spoke to a guy on the other end. He asked me about myself and started asking questions at the time about things I couldn't answer regarding my transition process. I told him that I was wasn't sure how to go about it and that's when he began telling me about what they did. He told me that their organisation was set up to help mostly children with the transition process in school situations and that I was the first that they had heard of in the Early Childhood Sector. I told him that we had heard a similar comment from DHS. He told me part of what they did was to help protect children from being bullied by other children as a result of coming out. 

After that conversation, I was ready to sign up. A few days later, there was like an outcry of negative stories in the media. I listened to these stories and was convinced it was just people commenting on something they had no idea about. One of my very dear friends who also has school aged children and I have known for many years  started posting all this negative material on social media   and I found myself defending them saying that they aren't about what your claiming. Their actually trying to help children and protect them from being bullied. My friend was adamant that she was right and I was wrong. Just as much as I was adamant that I was right and she was wrong. Truth be told, I almost lost her friendship over it until the day we spoke about it and I started seeing things from her perspective and why she view somethings a little different than I did.

When the decision came that we were dropping the program, I was kind of relieved to be honest. With all the negativity surrounding the group at the time, I was worried that it may come down on my centre and reflect badly upon us. The decision came from one of the very same mangers that had just come fresh from her course on how best to support the centre during the transition. They guy from the group,  wanted to conduct a meeting or an information night at the centre where I would be reading out a coming out statement and the floor would be open to questions from any concerned parents. The Manager lady from head-office said "No way, we are not going to put you in a situation where the it might turn into a pack mentality and you end up getting attacked. We want to protect you." So, at the eleventh hour, the meeting was called off and I was protected from any negativity. 

It was a crazy time in my life. While all this was going on in the background, I was continuing to keep a lid on the fact that my dream was about to become a very real reality and that my amazing centre was about to create history. I had lots of people asking me questions, I had a reporter trying to contact me for a story, which was like wow, really. Each day I would make my way around the staff and tell them about what was about to take place and that if they wanted to ask me anything at all not to hesitate. In this respect I have always wanted to be transparent because the more open I am about who I am, the easier it makes it for the next person to take that leap of faith. 

The staff were amazing when I told them. Their were some I put off telling until I really couldn't leave it to any longer. The reason being because I didn't want to do anything that offended their cultural beliefs as we were a very multi-cultural centre with educators from all around the world. When I first started at the centre, their was one lady that refused to use the same toilet as I because of her religious beliefs. Thankfully we moved past that and we respected each other more so in the end. Having said that, I was still frightened to tell her that the person that she had known for the past few years wasn't who she thought they were. I sat her down and made sure that some of the other girls were in the room so they could try to explain what I was saying if I made a mess of it. Nervously I began to speak and at the end of it she thanked me for coming and telling her in person and respecting her enough to share this news. 

As I said, I left it pretty open so anyone could ask me any question  they wanted to so they could understand better what was happening. I got all the questions that I expected like, "How long have you known?" "What does your family say?" "Are you going to grow your hair?" "What's going to be your new name?" "Are you going to get the operation?" As well as I got some questions that I didn't expect such as this one "If you become a girl, will that will mean that you will start to get the......you know, girl thing once a month?" Hmmmm, Don't know why, but I didn't see that coming. Let me try to answer that one with the benefit of hindsight. At the time I told her that it was biologically impossible because I didn't have the right plumbing for that to happen. Having been this way for a couple of years now, I'd like to revisit that answer and say yes. There are certain times of the month that i feel more emotional or moody than others and yes, chocolate helps a lot. Hormones can do some amazing things to ones body that's for sure. 

It was decided instead of the meeting, we were going to send out an information pack to all of the families to let them know what was happening and that if they had any concerns that they were welcome to discuss it with the extended management team that included a few of the managers from head office that had completed the course as well as our area manager. That offer was also open to any Educators that may feel uneasy and needed to chat about any concerns and of course it was made quite clear to me that if I felt like I was being treated any different or being disrespected by anyone, that I had a safe place to go to voice my concerns. 

In the end, I didn't need to voice any concerns at all. It was decided that finally, with the Easter break approaching that Darren would work his last day on the Thursday before Good Friday and that I would start work on Easter Tuesday. I walked into work on that first day feeling a mixture of nervous excitement. Once again I needn't of worried, I had an amazing Management team waiting to catch me if I fell and after a quick pep-talk, I walked into the room for the first time. The room fell silent for a few moments and after a what seemed like forever, one of the children finally broke the silence and asked, "Why are you wearing that?" pointing at my skirt. I crouched down beside him and told him it was because I like it. The child thought for a moment before giving me a look that said, fair enough, then he moved on and continued building a castle with some wooden blocks. 

Throughout that first day and the days following I received so many messages of support from the families, staff and management team of head-office and at centre level. I had parents coming up to me and just hugging me and saying things like "You go girl", "You are so brave" and even words like, "Thank you for teaching my child the true meaning of acceptance". 

I will never be able to thank my families, fellow Educators and of course the Management team of my amazing company for supporting me through this whole time. You exceeded all of my expectations and I will always be thankful for the amazing level of support you offered me during your Transition. 

That first Christmas was amazing. Being an Educator, it wouldn't be uncommon for me to receive Christmas gifts from the families for looking after their children for the year. I always considered that it wasn't necessary because trusting me to take care of them on their very important journey was gift enough to me. I would always get things like a box of Cadbury favourites (which I love) or a bottle or red. This year, I noticed the gifts were very different. I received so much Jewellery and a Jewellery box, Perfume, Soaps, Candles, flowers, chocolates and bottles of Moscato. Not that I needed proof, but if I was ever looking for it to tell me that I was accepted, this was it. 

On a personal level, this was also the Christmas that after 16 months after walking away from my 20 year marriage, I discovered how to love someone again with a love thats more pure than anything that I have ever felt before. But, thats another story.