Blood, Fire and Spirit. (Part 19)

 

Tuesday 11th August 2020

I'm going to take you back in time a couple of years for this one taking you back to part way through 2018. I had just been offered a  new position at a service in Pakenham which I had visited on a couple of occasions already as relief staff. The center was amazing and to be honest, it would have to be to leave the service that I had already been working for the last few months where I had made quite a name for myself  as an Educational Leader and fitted in well with all the amazing educators that I was working with. 

Pakenham had that wow factor, it had a beautiful front foyer and welcoming staff that made you feel comfortable straight away. The yards were amazing, especially the Kinder Yard and I was just awestruck with the way the management team related to the Educators there. It was something that i had missed over the previous last year. When I was offered the position, I jumped at it and within a week of being there was called into the back office. I sat down with the Director and her second and was asked how I felt about the service. I told nervously them (no one enjoys being called into an office anywhere as it doesn't always end in good news and I had had my share of bad news in that previous year) that I was feeling really good about the move and felt like I was getting along with everyone really well. The Director seemed happy with that reply and went on to say that she had heard nothing but great things from all the educators and families that she had spoken to. She then went on to offer me a role as Room Leader for her Big 2s room. I hadn't room lead a two year old room before and was not sure how my style of teaching would relate to this age group but I was up for the challenge. My reply to her was pretty typical of me, "Let me think about that for a moment...Ah, yes". 

So, it was decided, I spent the next week doing handover with the previous Room Leader and met my two amazing assistants. One thing that I can always say is that I have been very lucky in my life to have some awesome assistants. Jess and Elvie were two of the finest. We clicked together so well and turned the whole room around. Quite literally, we redesigned the room, redesigned the focus in the room and concentrated on doing lots of mini projects focusing on each Childs interest.  Before long we had the children talking about subject matter that they hadn't even thought of before but taking it home and telling their parents. I'll never forget the conversation that I had with a mum during that time all excited about something she witnessed her son doing over that weekend. She told me that she found her son drawing a picture of a man, she decided to ask who the man was. The child thought for a moment and replied "It's Neil Armstrong", bewiled she asked, "Who's Neil Armstrong"? Her almost 3 year old looked up and said "He was the first man on the moon". The Mum told me that she was so surprised that he knew this and had to Google to see if he was right. 

It was during this time I had noticed one of the parents who brought her child in always came in wearing a Salvation Army top. Having been a Salvo many years before, I wasn't sure whether to approach her or not feeling anxious because of being transgender. Sounds stupid now looking back, but she almost scared me because I was worried how she would react if I ever had her child in my care. I didn't know if she was an officer or someone who worked in one of the Thrift Shops, I just knew she was a Salvo. 

As time progressed, towards the end of the 2018, we started transitioning children to get them used to their new rooms. As luck would have it, one of the children was the child of the Salvo lady that I was more or less avoiding conversation with. This child was an absolute ball of energy and a joy to have visiting in my room over the course of the transition period. One of the days, I noticed her sitting in a big wooden box that I had in the room. The children would usually build it into a cubby house or something similar, but here was this child doing something totally different. I approached the child and asked her what she was doing. Firstly, I should explain that she was sitting in this box with a block in her hand moving it from left to right and making some odd noise. The child looked at me and said these immortal words, "I'm driving to Church, do you want to come with me?" 

That was definitely an OMG moment, it was like she knew that I was having problems with communicating with her Mum while at the same time knowing something that I was desperately missing. If you have read previous parts to my journey, you would now how much the Salvation Army has meant in my life and here was this child inviting to drive me there. I didn't get to tell mum that night and wasn't sure how to approach her about it but knew that she had to know. Its a tradition with most centers that they have their end of year break up party for the kids and families. I noticed Mum was there and decided that now was the time to tell her what I saw. 

Mum looked at me, smiled and said, you need to come. I told her about my  reservations and that I didn't want to make any of the congregation feel uncomfortable  with my presence. She explained to me that Pakenham Corp has some very progressive thinking Officers and that they would love to have me there. Sure enough, the next time I saw her at the center she told me that she had spoken to her officers about me and they reiterated her feelings saying that they want me there. I got some details from her and told her I would thing about it. 

One Sunday morning she messaged me and told me that she had had a dream that night that God had told her that she needed to tell me that I had to be there today. I'm like really, why today especially? She told me she didn't know but she had past on the message and done her part, the rest was up to me. I asked her what time the service started and she replied that it started at 10am. I'm like, it's 8:30am now and I'm still in bed. 

Somehow, in an hour and a half, I managed to jump in the shower, get dressed and drive the 30min drive to Pakenham to arrive a couple of minutes after 10am. I walked into that hall and although I can't quite explain it but I felt home straight away. The Mum came up to me and asked me to sit with her and I did. I remember standing up singing the songs that were being projected on the screen and thinking this feels right. Every so often, one of the lines in the song were being amplified at me from the mum with an occasional wink to say, that's you. 

During the service, they had a commitment ceremony  which is like the Salvation Army version of a baptism. The family that was dedicating their baby was from Nigeria, I at that time had just met a Nigerian girl online called Lara. I'm like, what are the chances that in the middle of Pakenham, on the day I attend church for the first time in years a Nigerian child is being dedicated. The sermon began and it was all about Inclusion and Inclusive practice partially in relation to the church and how in the past they have ignored certain people and that time had passed. One of the songs we sung after the sermon and to end off the meeting was from one of my favorite Christian artists, Michael W Smith. That was it for me, if I needed any other signs that I was meant to be there I would have just been trying to avoid the unavoidable. 

After the service, I was introduced to both the officers and straight away, I knew what the Mum was tying to tell me. They were both so down to earth and full of compassion. The rest of the congregation introduced themselves to me one by one over a cup of coffee and a plate of biscuits and the feeling of finally being home again hit me. Over the following weeks I became a regular fixture around the Corp and one Sunday, I decided to give my testimony about how I had been searching, wanting and hoping to get back to church but was worried about how I would be received as a result. I went on to say that from the moment I walked into Pakenham Corp, I felt immediately at ease and that was a testament in itself to the congregation that had built that and I thanked them for allowing me to be with them. 

I was surprised at the end of it when some of the older Salvos came over to me after the service and told me that I'd really touched a place in their hearts and began thanking me. From that point on, Pakenham was my home and although I was working in Pakenham and traveling 30mins each day for work, I was more than happy to do the same on a Sunday to be with my Salvo family. 

During this time I have made some amazing connections that I know will last a life time and some unfortunately ran out when my usefulness ran out. Some lessons are very hard to learn at times and although I was getting warning signs from friends around me along the way I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt until I saw it with my own eyes what was happening. I'm not going into anymore detail than that because sadly, those feelings are still pretty raw and to be honest, I'm left feeling foolish because I thought I was helping when in actual fact I was only enabling the bad decisions that this person was making.  

Over the course of 2019 I was becoming more and more imbedded in the Army and even at one point considered going back into uniform. I wasn't sure exactly how that was going to work but it was a real possibility at the time. Pretty soon, it was my favorite time of year roll around. Red Shield Appeal Sunday. Something I always looked forward to. In the past I door knocked, played chicken on the road at the traffic lights dodging cars and stood in shopping centers beside the kettle. Every year after the appeal we would go back to the Corp and the ladies there would feed us while some would sit at tables and count the donations coming in. It was a real feeling of community and I actually missed being apart of that. Red Shield 2019 was very different to those days, no more door knocking, little traffic light work due to restrictions which left Shopping centers and Bunnings and the Red Shield Sunday became a two week appeal. 

That first day I volunteered for Bunnings, let me tell you, I have a new found respect for the door greeters at Bunnings after that because nothing is colder than sitting in the wind tunnel they call the front doors at Bunnings. It was so freaking cold that no amount of clothing was going to warm me up. The following week I volunteered for the shopping center and loved every minute of it. As I was working in Pakenham, I knew a lot of the families walking past and it was a change to see them in a different light. Of course the children would do the usual double take when they look at you and try and figure out where they know you because your not in the usual uniform. 

Around May 2019 I had fallen into another slump thanks to my depression. I fell into a complete hole and struggled to climb out of it. To me, everything that I had worked so hard for over the years was being threatened again. I was becoming consumed by the black hole that left me feeling what's the point of going on. It was the Salvos that help save me from that. My officer rang me up one day after the Sunday service in which I hadn't attended. He asked if I was ok, I told him I was struggling to function. Later that day, he and his wife rolled up on my doorstep with donuts looking for coffee and to sit with me for a while, I told them what was happening and they both stuck by me through one of the darkest moments in my career. 

It was around this time that I was recording an interview with the amazing Dr Ruby Red Scarlet for her upcoming online course, "My Friend Has Two Mums: Gender and Sexuality in Early Childhood". Incidentally, this amazing course featuring me is happening again on the 1st September 2020. I will leave a link to the Multiverse site on the Inclusive Educator Facebook page. I remember during the interview being filled with sadness about the predicament I was in and that projected in the interview as being somewhat negative in certain aspects. After the interview Red ask me what was happening and I explained to her. She gave me some amazing advice as you would expect and from that point began crawling back out of the hole. We decided to re-record the interview and I'm so glad we did because the second version was amazing an exactly the message I wanted to get across in the first place. 

Towards the end of 2019, I met a girl who I liked very much. I decided to spend my weekends getting to know her better as weekends were our only time to catch up as she lived in the city. I always intended to go back to the Salvos, they helped me through some tough time but at the time, I had to give my all to my new relationship. The new year rolled around, Covid broke out, the relationship broke down  and before long, restrictions became the new normal. I still keep in contact with my church family but not seeing them every week to catch up and share that experience has been hard.

 I was never a smash you over the head with my beliefs especially my religious ones.  I believe that is up to the individual, me forcing people to go to church is only going to make them rebel more. I have many friends now, and yes, some of them happen to be atheist's and one in particular is probably  reading this now. I don't question her beliefs as she doesn't directly question mine. Some of her posts though I must admit make me squirm but then I think she's entitled to her opinion as I am entitled to mine and I just scroll past. 

Hopefully by Christmas 2020, we can all be together again but sadly I doubt it given the current Covid climate. Until we all do met again in that very precious, newly repainted.......yet again,  church, I want to just say to all at Pakenham Corp, thank you so much for making me feel so welcome over the past couple of years and knowing that I will always have a home among you. Thank you also to the little girl who offered to drive me to church. Who knows, with one more lifestyle change, that uniform could still become a reality.

Sharon Priestley

I don't usually do this but I would like to dedicate this blog to two very special girls, Zoe for offering me a lift and to Jasmine who inspired me to write again. Thank You both. 

Bushfires and Killer Viruses........Lets push ctrl/alt/delete on 2020 (Part 18)

Saturday-Sunday
21st and 22nd March 2020


Well, Most of you would be forgiven for thinking the world has gone totally mad in the last few months. If you had of told me that my first blog for 2020 would be about a killer flu virus that seems to be taking over the world a little more each day I would of said something like "Not even my creative mind could come up with such a tale of craziness", but here we are. 

I, like most people first heard about the Corona Virus or Covid-19 as its known now first in December last year. I must admit, at first I didn't think to much about it as I had other things happening in my life at that point. Life was as good as it could be, my career was going well and I was for the first time in years in a relationship that was mutually respectful and I was lost in feelings that I hadn't felt in years. The last thing I had on my mind was a killer virus. 

As December and 2019 drew to a close, the country was facing a far more pressing threat in the way of Bushfires. Due to the lack of rain in many of our rural areas across the country and the miss management of the federal government in respect to managing fuel reduction in the area's that needed it the most, not to mention, ignoring plea's from fire chiefs to invest more money into the respective fire services and purchasing more aerial firefighting water bombers to help combat the threat of bushfire. Fires broke out in Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria and Tasmania and as the fires began burning down and destroying lives and Australian  livelihoods, the Prime Minster of this country decided to fly off with his family to Hawaii for a holiday leaving the country with a rather large smoke cloud hanging overhead. 

After cries of "Scomo, where the bloody hell are you?" he, the Prime Minster finally decided to pack his suitcase and head home to face the music. Let me just tell you, the orchestra had been fine tuning their instruments and ready to unleash a crescendo the likes before have never been heard. Scomo copped it from fellow politicians, everyday Australians and of course the people on the front line that where putting their own lives at risk each time they went out to face the threat day after day. The heat boiled out into the streets and unfortunately, Mr. Morrison wasn't doing himself any favors by forcing victims of the bushfires to shake his hand for a cheap photo opportunity for the morning papers. 

I've always said that I'm non-political, to be honest, the subject boars me to tears. There are some politicians that I watch and think really, how is this meant to help the average Australian in their day to day life? I believe that Donald Trump is a misogynist who needs to be relieved from his duties as soon as possible because for the last 3-4 years, he has turned his country into a laughing stock and only served his own purposes by stroking his own massive ego.  As far as Scomo goes, his kind of conservative politics with a touch of radical Christianity thrown in is never going to be a good fit for anyone that he doesn't agree with, people like myself. Dan Andrews at least seems to have his finger on the pulse of all Victorians especially the LGBTQI community in our state but that's as political as I get. At the end of the day, I keep my head down and try not to ruffle any feathers and concentrate on what I do best, teaching and nurturing children and educators. 

So eventually the bushfires stopped attacking our country and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. It was time to step back and consider the cost of what just happened. The fires burned for 5 months and caused the death of 33 people with almost 3000 houses destroyed. The fires also decimated 7.7 million hectares of Australia that once housed over 1 billion animals that lost their lives. It is estimated that in monetary terms, it has cost in excess of 100 Billion dollars but in real human terms, sadly we will never know. Each one of those 33 people who lost their lives left someone behind. Each one of those 3000 houses destroyed left a family homeless and having to start their lives from scratch. 

It was a time that we witnessed amazing community involvement with everyone pitching in to try and help the victims that lost everything. Donations of food, clothing and money rolled in on a daily basis. Bushfire relief concerts were held across the country to aid in the effort which led to everyday Australians giving whatever they could. Farmers where sending their own stock feed to other farmers that were suffering and with nothing to feed their animals. Everyday, we woke up to a smoke haze that reminded us that our fellow Australians were going through hell at the moment and anything that we could do to help take that pain away would be appreciated. I can't begin to describe the pride I felt in our own  local community when I would see pages on Facebook looking for donations of toys, clothing and food to take up to the hotspots of some of the worst affected. Our own Sikh community decided to pack up their food van and head to the worst affect places and cook and donate free food to the volunteers and victims of the fires. This is what our country has been about for many years. When Australians are down and hurting, we pass the hat around to help them out. 

Sadly, in recent days, with the Corona Virus, this has not always been the case. Unfortunately we have seen not only Australians do a total backflip, but also the rest of the world. Everyone seems to be thinking about their own needs and wants and leaving nothing for the country's most vulnerable who can't afford to panic buy even the necessities let alone the luxuries. 

Lets go back to the beginning of this whole pandemic thing and start from the start. The Corona virus as I said earlier had first come to my  attention back in December, didn't think for a minute that it would be something like it is today. Once the threat of the bushfires had dissipated and it was found that the virus was beginning to spread from country to country, that's when I sat up and took notice. Up until that point if anyone was sick around me I would joke about and say things like "You better not have Corona virus". I'd even tell them I would spray them with disinfectant on them if they sneezed near me. I don't joke about it anymore, I actually find myself taking a step back from people now whether it be subconsciously or not, I just do it. I panic when I cough too much or discover that my throat seems a little sore, but then it gets better overnight and I put it down to coughing to much the day before. 

As it stands as I write this, the total worldwide stands at 307,037 cases confirmed with 13,034 deaths. In Australia there has been 1072 cases confirmed with 7 people dying as a result. On the grand scale of things, our country is seemingly riding the storm out quite well compared to some of the European countries who have had to go into lock down. Having said that, we aren't predicted to hit our peak until around June so I guess I should reserve my judgement a little while longer. 

Once again, I feel that the Australian governments position is not strong enough at them moment. I understand that the country can't just stop for two weeks because it's not a viable solution to keep the company going but keeping schools and childcare centers open is a bit problematic when where banning public gatherings of over 500 and indoor events to some other mathematical equation depending on the size of the room. Social distancing is not something that can be achieved effectively in a childcare center because we are constantly nurturing and supporting these children with social and emotional communication. If a child falls over and hurts themselves, they instinctively go to an educator for support of the educator will go to them. The child doesn't understand social distancing and it creates more confusion and anxiety for the child if they can't be comforted with a simple hug. I understand that keeping children is in centers is to protect the elderly from coming into contact with children who make have colds but if this is the case, they should be in self-quarantine with their parents, not out and about visiting grandma at the retirement village or nursing home. The other situation is that I understand that some Grandparents to have custody or have their Grandchildren in their care due to different circumstances but if the children are sick, they all should be in self-quarantine. 

Educators have families of their own and as much as they don't want to walk away from their services, they also don't want to contract anything from the children and pass it on to their own families and putting them at risk. I guess I'm lucky in this respect because I live alone and don't need to worry about passing anything on to anyone else. If I'm not feeling 100%, I stay home and not go anywhere till I'm feeling all good again. Usually my problem is exhaustion because I always give everything I have to my work both during the day and at night. It's just what I do because I love what I do. 

So, here we are at the end of another Blog, a little different than my usual content I know but with this thing happening all around us I thought it was a blog that needed to be written to show the contrast between the community spirit during one major event and this event happening now. We all need to calm down and stop panic buying from shops because it is hurting the most disadvantaged people in our community, the elderly, the unemployed, the single parents out there fighting to put something on the tables for their kids to eat each night and more than likely going without themselves. We have warehouses of food and supplies ready for the shops so we need to slow down and stop buying it all before it hits the shelves and leaving nothing for others. Things like Toilet Paper, Hand sanitizer, tissues, feminine sanitary products, rice, pasta, fresh and frozen fruit and vegetables, meat and milk. Its all waiting to go onto our shelves if shoppers allowed the stores to put it out for everyone. We shouldn't have to fight and brawl in shopping centers over toilet paper. 

One think I want to add before I close this one off. A big part of my work and any educators work for that matter, should be critical reflection. It's something I do quite a bit in my day to day life and conversations I have with fellow educators. In the beginning of this, I was talking about how I didn't take it seriously because it was overseas and not effecting the rest of the world at that point. Besides, the bushfires were more of a pressing issue at the time. I was making light of the situation and saying when someone sneezed around that you better not have corona virus. The person I said this most to was an Educator of Asian decent. She wasn't from China but it's irrelevant. The point is I said something that was meant to be funny without realizing that comments like this could be considered hurtful if not racist. Of course that was never my intension as I've built a career on being inclusive of all nationalities, religions and cultural differences but my comments were wrong.

I find myself getting mad a phrases like "The China Virus" uttered by dimwitted politicians who have no grasp of reality. It saddens me when I hear how some Asian restaurants are having to close down because patrons are frightened to go out to them for fear that they might get Corona Virus. Asians are being verbally attacked and spat on in public while being blamed for this outbreak when their no more to blame than the rest of the world.  

The phrase Covid-19, sounds like the name of some rogue undercover agent with a license to kill. Up until now, it has had that opportunity but they only way we are going to stop this thing is by working together to defeat it. That means placing yourself in self-isolation if your not well, wash your hands regularly and be kind to each other. 

Sharon