The Highest Of High's Vs The Lowest Of Low's............(Part 5)

Wednesday 30th May 2018

I finally arrived home from what seemed to be the longest trip in history. Sure it was a great time spending the weekend with fellow members of our church group, but to be honest I had only one person on my mind. I remember coming back from the band camp trip and thinking to myself, "I have a girlfriend." That made the story even funny for me as while I was thinking that, my very new partner was dancing around her house singing at the top of her lungs that she had a new boyfriend. 

As time progressed, our relationship grew stronger and stronger. We became inseparable and it was like although I was spending almost every waking minute of the day with her, I still couldn't get enough of her in my life. We would go on outings all the time as well spend time just sitting around at my house chatting about what we both wanted to do in our lives. I'd tell her about my writing ambitions and even read her some passages of whatever I was writing at the time. 

At the time I was sharing my house with a friend of mine and her 4 year old son whom I'd met at our church group. I'd found out later that the girl who had taken over my world in such a big way, actually was worried about asking me out because she believed that my friend and her son was actually my Wife and child. Needless to say, we worked past that little obstacle when I reassured her that my housemate was nothing more than a friend. 

Another obstacle that was a little harder to get around, was her Father. Unfortunately, in the beginning Dad wasn't much of a fan to say the least. I guess looking back now, with good reason. I was 7 years older than his daughter and lets just say between jobs at the time. Dad made it quite clear that I wasn't suitable for his daughter  till at least I found myself a job. So, using that as motivation, I set out to find myself some employment. It was also around this time, I attended a seminar at our local Tafe about looking at working in Childcare as a profession. 

While attending our Church, I became a Sunday school teacher. To be totally honest, I only became a Sunday school teacher because the girl I was initially interested in, was one also. Truth be told, that's why I also became involved in our Churches version of Scouts and Guides. Yes, you guessed it, the object of my affection was also apart of that group to. I realised while I was doing these things that I had a flair for entertaining children and for some reason they actually seemed to like me. The idea of becoming a childcare worker came along, so I went along to the seminar and decided that it sounded to much like hard work and that was essentially that. Oh, if I only knew it then.

Not long after that, my case worker at the employment agency that I was attending, put me forward for a job as a Salesperson in a retail store. That started my journey of trying to seek the approval of my Girlfriends Father. Of course it didn't happen straight away but it finally did happen. It took me having to fake an interest in the horses and the greyhounds (his favourite pastime) but in the end, we had a pretty good relationship, right up to the day he passed. He was actually heading over to our house to spend the day with myself and his Daughter so he and I could go over the form guide and place a few bets one Saturday. Sadly he never made it to our house and we were to later find out that he collapsed at the bus stop, had a massive heart attack and died. 

When I finally made up my mind that I wanted to propose to my then Girlfriend, I agonised over how I was going to tell her about me and who I was. I felt that if she was going to make that commitment to me, that I had to be totally truthful with her so she knew what she was getting into. I don't know whether she was just blinded by love or she didn't hear me correctly or at least understood what me being Transgender was going to mean to her. Although, my secret life was still very much a secret to the outside world, I still felt that she would benefit from a heads up to what our home life would be like if she decided to except my proposal. 

Once again she didn't seem phased by what I was telling her so with a big sigh of relief, I asked her to marry me. Thankfully, she said yes. A couple of years later, we were married and our life together began. For the first five years of our married life together it was like we were on a never ending honey moon. If I couldn't get enough of her before I was married to her, I certainly couldn't after we were married. Every single moment of the day we were together, unless I was working of course. We didn't go anywhere without the other and that's just how it was. 

My life seemed perfect, I had an amazing girl who loved me for who i was and better still, i had an amazing person to go shopping with anytime we felt like a splurge on some new clothes. She would tell me what she liked on me and I told her what clothes I liked on her. Everything was going well until one day she stopped me in my tracks and told me out of nowhere, that she couldn't do this anymore. She told me that she married a Man, not a Woman and that she wanted me to stop being who I was. 

I swear I tried so hard to stop being me. For the next fifteen years I tried to stop being me and the more I tried, the more my life would fall apart and a little piece of my identity would fade away. I suffered with depression and began looking at ways of ending my own life. The sad part was that i was so pathetic at that point that I couldn't even do that right. I lost friends, my family could tell there was something wrong but I couldn't tell them because I didn't have any ounce of self-esteem or self-respect left. I remember driving to work in peak hour traffic and just bursting into tears each day because I was constantly thinking about who I needed to be.

As far as our home life was going, all lines of communication had broken down by this point. We surrounded ourselves with things that made us comfortable, for me it was my PlayStation as each night after work I would transport my life to the world of Final Fantasy. For my Wife, she continued her interests in Animal Welfare. She attended rallies in the city and supported Animal Welfare causes all over Australia. 

You see, in another cruel twist of fate, we discovered in the early years of our marriage that we couldn't have children of our own, so that's why we surrounded ourselves with distractions. We had talked so many times about having our own kids. We already picked out names for them, not to mention, going out a buying baby clothes and other accessories. I remember one month when my Wife told me within those first five years that she was late. We both began building our hopes thinking this was it, we might be pregnant only to be crushed a few days later when we discovered that we weren't. It wasn't long after that that I had a count down only to find that I had no swimmers at all. 

It wasn't long after we received the test results, that my Wife hit me with the "I married a Man not a Woman" line. Sitting here now re-thinking about that time in my life, I remember feeling like my whole world had just self imploded. The sense of despair was overwhelming and I felt trapped because it wasn't if I could go and talk to someone about it because no one else knew. I was literally living in my own private prison cell for the next 15 years. To afraid to speak for fear of the consequences of me speaking out. 

Thankfully, this all changed after a night out drinking with two of my friends when I finally opened that door of the closet that had been holding me for the last 46 years and taking an all mighty leap of faith. 

Waking Up A Boy

The following is a short story I wrote several years ago and although the sentiment in it is real, the actually story is fictitious. I thought it was worth sharing as it gives you an insight into how I was thinking at the time. So I hope you enjoy the following collection of feelings, thoughts and words:

I'd gone to be early last night, as i had been doing a lot lately. I had been finding myself gradually getting more tired as the day progressed, and yesterday seemed to be no exception. I'd just passed it off as getting older and that I just wasn't able to do the things that i had in the past. I slowly closed my eyes, and before i knew it, i was deep in sleep.

I'm not sure what time it was, but I awoke with a fright. I remember thinking to myself, that's strange, something doesn't feel right. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, i noticed this strange person looking back at me who i didn't recognise. I let out a little scream, thinking who is this strange person in my bathroom and why is he staring at me! Then it hit me, the man looking back at me in the mirror was me. How could this be, what happened to me, how on earth could I be a man.

I knew nothing about being a man, I had become something that made no sense to me. I knew nothing about cars and power tools. I knew nothing of drinking yourself to a point where all you want to do is bring it back up again. I hated everything that being male stood for. I can't do all that macho rubbish they do when they hangout with their mates. I can't treat girls like their opinions and dreams and hopes don't count for anything. I can't ridicule others because they may not fit the mould of what men should be.

I had always been a Girly girl. I loved life and everything that went with being female. I loved shopping for new clothes, shoes and trying them on and feeling them against my skin. I loved pampering myself by spending ages in a bath in the candle light. I loved the smell of perfume and skin lotions on my body. I love spending time doing my nails and hair just because it makes me feel good. I love getting all dressed up and being the centre of attention and knock everyone off their feet. I love spending time reading books and poetry, cooking and sometimes I even love cleaning when the radio chooses the right song as i clean. What was I to become when everything I knew and enjoyed about being a girl was taken away from me in one foul swoop. No more Cinnamon and spice. No more satin and lace, no more shoes! 

I was left feeling miserable not knowing how i was going to get by living my life as a lie from this point on. Living as something i clearly wasn't, and i hated anything that may ahead for me. Life as a male is not going to work because it's not who i want to be and in my heart of hearts, is not who i am. I closed my eyes thinking there is no other way out other than to take my life. I stumbled to the kitchen desperately fumbling around for something in the dark to do the unthinkable. 

I found a knife, I knew it well as I had used it many times before while cooking and having dinner parties with my friends. The knife was from a family member who abused me during my childhood and I kept it as a reminder of those days and to remind myself never to be downtrodden by a male ever again. I brought the knife to my wrist and just i was about to make the incision, I awoke with a start.

I was back in mybed again listening to my alarm go off telling me to get out of bed. I immediately ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, I cried and laughed with joy. I was still the girl I had always been.

Sharon

(looking forward to waking up from the dream myself someday)

Girl Dreams

17th July 2015

I often think to myself, how or why did this thing happen to me. I mean why couldn't I just be content with being who I was. Life would be so much more easier for me, I wouldn't have been bullied at school because of music class when I used to sing the girl parts with the girls. I wouldn't have been picked on for preferring to cook than to do metal work or wood work. Did i really need to do sewing class as an elective. i was crap at sports and to be totally honest crap at most things. So i guess you can say through my school years my life was bad.

Every single night I'd be frightened to make the journey home for fear of what would happen to me along the way home. I would regularly get beaten on my journey from school to home, as much as I did at school.  At the end of the day, you can't help what you are inside. I didn't ask to have a girl brain inside my body, but I am who I am. I love being with girls, i love talking to them, I love being one with them. I relate to them so much more easier than guys. 

Seriously guys are on another planet, I see how they treat women and it makes me sick. I have tried so hard to not be that person and in a lot of peoples eyes, that has made me weak, less of a man.....Great, i don't want to be one anyway.

Cut this bloody thing of and be done with it. Allow me to dress and act how I like everyday without the ridicule. If I want to shave my arms and legs, so be it. It doesn't make me a pervert, it allows me to be true to who I am. I accepted that a long time ago. I just wish everybody else could. I don't tell many who I am as a rule for fear of losing their friendship. It's a big step for any outward looking guy to say, I would love to go shopping with you and buy myself a new dress. 

I have always said it, girls clothes feel so right, it's hard to explain but once you put them on my cares go away.  I guess the excitement stems from not so much about the clothes but who i am. It's exciting to be a girl, I have wanted to be one all my life. In games I more often than not became a girl avatar, dreaming of how i would or could look. I would love to be a princess or a mermaid or a ballerina even but in actual fact I know it can never happen. The world is just not that accepting enough for me and I'm to scared of the outcome. I'm no Jazz or Caitlyn Jenner or anyone else who has the courage to stand up and say, this is who I am like it or walk away. 

I value the small group of friends I have, but if they were to find out the true me i would lose them also. Yeah, i know, they weren't true friends to begin with if they walk away, but I have always had this fear of not fitting in anywhere for obvious reasons. I thought I was the only one in the world that felt like this and I must have been sick or something. The more I have tried to suppress it the worse it got. I have wanted to end it all so many times and find myself at the brink of ending it and what do you know, i don't even have the courage to do that.

I was never going to amount to much in my life so i tried to be the best I could working with what i had. I have been married for almost 20 years and at first my wife was accepting, then she wasn't, then she was and then she wasn't, I threw out all my clothes and that was that. Almost 2 years since last putting on a dress. Those feelings are still there and are starting to boil away again and next time I don't think I can or want to stop them from coming back, sadly that may hurt a lot of people but weigh that up against 46 years of living a lie, who is worse off? 

At the end of the day it has upset two people I care very much about already, that in itself breaks my heart. I never meant to hurt anyone but again, i can't help the way i feel. I'm not a pervert, I'm not a paedophile, I'm just a girl stuck inside a mans body. 

To anyone of my new friends who have joined my page thinking I am something I'm not, I will understand if you want to leave my page. Yes i have joined some lesbian pages, the reason behind that is simple. I feel that I would have been a lesbian if i was born a girl, the idea of a man touching me makes me sick and I sure wouldn't wanted that as a girl. I love and respect girls and women to much. The idea of making love to a woman as a woman would be a dream come true. The funny thing is that my first girlfriend i ever had is now a very proud lesbian (not that we ever made love) and she discovered this while she was with me. Go figure.

For now I guess i will continue sitting here in my make believe world looking at clothes and wishing, secretly loving pink and purple, dolls, mermaids, fairies and sing frozen songs to myself  imagining I'm Princess Anna  (Love her so much) and imaging what may of been if I was born they way i should have.

Sharon

Would You Like To Share My Umbrella ...........? (Part 4)

Sunday 20th May 2018 

I was asked the other day by an interested reader, "Why don't you write in your blog where you have worked?" I guess the best way to answer that is "professional courtesy". I have always believed in, if you do right by others, that the universe will do right by you. It hasn't always worked out to be a valid mantra as some people have done some horrific things to me over my life, but then on the other hand, I have had some amazingly, supportive people in my life also who have lifted me up, dusted me off and given me the desire to keep moving forward. 

As far as not publishing the names of where I have worked, for me it's all about protecting those companies and the amazing people in those companies that have supported me. You see, I may not be working with those companies anymore, but I still posses a fair amount of loyalty to them because without their support and guidance, I wouldn't be who I am today. Yes, I have mentioned two names to date during this journey, but they are worth singling out because these two ladies, (Mirren and Maida) I feel that I owe a great debt to. 

This next few parts of this journey, I am going to be talking about what most of you have probably been waiting for, the transition process and how it all came about. For this I will need to refer back to my wife as she was a very big part of my story also. I'm not going to dig to much into that side of things because of what some people would refer to as some misplaced loyalty but I still feel a sense of feeling responsible for her which no doubt will make some people cringe at this point, but you have to remember she has been a major part of my life for around 25 years now. Not that I have feelings for her by any stretch of the imagination. Thankfully we have both moved on and making lives for ourselves. 

Our story began many years ago one Saturday night at a Christian Youth trip to Phillip Island. A group of us had gathered together in the car park of our Church preparing to head down to the Island to visit the Penguin Parade which is a local tourist attraction here in Victoria. Each night around dusk, a colony of Little Penguins gather together in a raft (a group of penguins) and slowly make their way up the beach to their burrows. I always had an interest in Penguins for some strange reason for as long as I could remember. So a trip down to the Island to visit them certainly appealed to me. That plus the fact a girl who I was interested in (not the girl I eventually married), was also going. 

I had been watching this girl for a while and dropped some not so subtle hints that I was interested but clearly not subtle enough because she was never all that responsive. Regardless, I was unperturbed and continued on my quest to win her heart. I must of seemed rude that first day when I met my future wife for the first time because I wouldn't of seemed all that responsive myself as I only had eyes for the one girl. To be perfectly honest, I don't even remember her until we got to the island. 

Our small group of Christian Youth finally arrived at the Island and straight away I was thankful that I had brought a jacket as it was unbelievably cold and threatening to rain. I had actually brought my umbrella just on the off chance that the skies opened up and the rain tumbled down. We made our way down the boardwalk to the Penguin Parade and took up our spots at the stadium type seating on the beach waiting for the impending arrival of my favourite animal. I made myself comfortable trying so hard to get as close as I could to the girl I was interested in but she was surrounded by a group of her close friends so it was a hard task. Trust me to develop feelings for one of the most likable girls in our church group. 

Before long the Penguins popped their heads out of the water checking that the coast was clear and began making their way up the beach towards home for a much needed rest after a long day of fishing in the ocean. It was about then, when the first Penguin hit the beach that the inevitable happened, the rain came pouring down. Everyone else just ran for cover while I pulled out my trusty fold up umbrella and unfurled it. I stood there for a moment looking out into the chaos of tourists running everywhere ducking for cover and I noticed a lone figure standing all alone in the rain continuing to watch the penguins head up the beach. 

I decided to walk over to her and offer to share my umbrella with her so she could at least stay dry. She was very thankful and introduced herself as I did. She told me that she remembered me from the Church car park. I wish I could have said the same but to be honest I didn't even realise that she was even with our group until that point. We spent the rest of our time walking around together under my shelter looking and laughing at the penguins. I must of made an impact on her as she wouldn't leave my side for the rest of the night. 

The next few Youth Group events, the same girl just kept turning up. She also began appearing at Church more (which she told me later she hated but she wanted to see me so she went). She also began turning up at our church volleyball nights. I eventually found out from a mutual friend that she was interested in me. Now, this was new ground for me, no one had ever been interested in me before I was with them so I decided that I needed to find out more about her because lets face it, the girl I was actually interested in didn't even know that I existed so I was pretty much banging my head up against a brick wall there. 

We spent the night talking and getting to know each other. We swapped addresses and phone numbers. She would call me each night and we would be on the phone for like three hours at a time and never run out of things to say to each other. I felt myself more and more forgetting about the original girl and found myself developing feelings more and more for this girl. I decided that one night, that I would write my feelings down in a letter and give it to her. That weekend I was going away with our church group for a band weekend. While I was there I ran into our mutual friend who once again told me how interested she was in me and that if I asked her out, she would more than likely say yes. 

Let me just tell you all, that night, I couldn't get to a public phone quick enough to give her a call to tell her how much I missed her and wish I was with her there than 100s of Kms away at some silly band camp. She also told me that she was missing me and was looking forward to seeing me again. With our mutual friend outside the telephone box egging me on saying "Ask Her." I finally found the courage inside to ask her, if she would go out with me. The phone went quiet for a few moments as I sweated on a reply of any type. She eventually came back with the answer, "Who's asking?". I was like what? I quickly replied that I was asking and she straight away said yes, much to my relief. 

I later found out from her mother that after the phone call that night she began dancing around the kitchen singing to herself that she had a new boyfriend. I may of brought that up a few times over the years to embarrass her a little from time to time and we would laugh about it together. The drive coming back from band camp without a doubt was the longest trip of my life. I so desperately wanted to get back to see her and hold her in my arms and begin our relationship together. Little did I know that 25 Years later that I would be writing about here.

A Room Leader........ Me? (Part 3)

Wednesday 16th May 2018

I had been doing a lot of networking while I was doing my agency work and as much I loved doing it, the inconstancy with the hours was beginning to take it's toll on me. Although my wife had been working at a permanent centre, (incidentally, she also worked as an Educator) the constant floating from one place to the other was not working for me. On the upside though, I got to experience lots of different centres which in turn, allowed me to learn lots of different teaching styles. My teaching style is a combination of all of them plus my own unique addition. 

My Wife suggested that I apply at the centre three doors down from our place. I wasn't to keen on the idea at first because it was just to close to home but then, the economics of the idea eventually hit home. If i worked closer to home, we only needed one car which meant only one car registration every year. Now the thought of saving $800 dollars a year plus servicing costs and petrol was a huge incentive for me to finally agree to bite the bullet and go and apply at the centre across the road three doors away from my front door. 

I walked in on that first day ready for anything and introduced myself to the bubbliest person I had ever met in my life to date. Her enthusiasm was totally infectious and straight away she put me at easy. She asked me to come back for a trial day and with in a couple of hours, she made her mind up that she wanted me. My thinking at the time was if I could get 2-3 permanent days working at the centre, I would make up the rest with agency days which paid more (assuming i got the call to work). Little by little, the Director at my permanent centre wore me down and in the end had me agreeing to working 37.5hrs a week with her. Seriously, it was so hard to say no to this powerhouse of energy. 

So there I was, working in a centre three doors away from my front door 5 days a week. I began in the toddlers room which was kind of at the back of the centre so we were pretty much left to our own devices. The room ran smoothly under the direction of our room leader and each Educator worked together as a team. I remember thinking in those early days that if there were any cracks in this centre, they were hiding them very well. 

Its sadly a fact, in most centres there will always be a certain amount of the to many chief's theory. Problems sometime arise and need to be dealt with before they escalate into something a lot more worse. In this new centre, I hadn't seen anything like over inflated ego's being an issue. Every team member new what their role was and worked together as a team to achieve that goal. 

The following year, it was decided I'd moved up to the Kinder Room and become the Assistant to the Kinder Teacher in the room.  It was my preferred age group at the time to work with as I seem to relate to them in ways other Educators hadn't been able to. In a strange twist, the Kinder Teacher decided to leave and I was left to run the room pretty much. I mean, for appearance sakes they had a Diploma Qualified person step in from time to time and do the programming but it was essentially me running the days activities. It is worth remembering, at this time I was still only a Cert 3 and here I was trying to run a Kinder Program. It was decided during this time that I should consider studying my Diploma. I agreed that it was probably the time to do that as some were beginning to ask why is a Cert 3 running a Kinder room? 

Thankfully, the parents were very patient with me and excepted some of my earlier mistakes because they looked beyond them and focused on how the children related to me. Some of those very parents are still friends with me today. One of them is actually one of my best friends. I had her two daughters in my room back then and all these years later I still get the chance to care for them even now that their two amazing 9 year old's who continue to bring so much joy to my life. 

Eventually, we got a new Kinder Teacher and it was such a relief for me personally because she was amazing. I learnt so much from her and she gave me the confidence to go off the next year and run my own room, legitimately.

The room I took over was Junior Kinder which later became a Kinder 1 room. The children ranged from the age of three and a half to four. I had finally found my niche. This age group suited me so much because their wasn't the pressure of knowing that they were going to school the following year and I could concentrate on not only teaching the children literacy, numeracy, shapes and colours but i could also concentrate on lots of mini projects. 

Becoming a room leader was like reaching the summit of Mt Everest for me. I was always told that I'd never amount to much in my life, even living beyond the age of 18 was going to be an achievement in my life. Yet here I was, working in a profession that I loved so much in charge of an amazingly beautiful room in an exceeding centre. The parent feedback continued to roll in and my reputation for doing things a little differently,  began to spread. I remember being so proud of my first room that I'd spend most of my waking hours in it. I'd go in on the weekends to change things around, set up new experiences for the children or just to catch up on paperwork. The room was like my child, I was so very proud of it and I wanted to reflect that as much as I could. 

It was getting that way, the following year that the parents didn't want to move their children up into the next room which was actually the Kinder 2 room for fear that they would miss something in my room. Halfway through that second year of running that Kinder 1 room, I had so many children that I had to be moved into a bigger room. I had children not wanting to move from my room and I had others waiting for spots to come into my room from the room below. The solution was to take over the old Toddler 1 room and make it a Kinder 1 room. The most exciting part about that was I was allowed to choose an assistant. 

For the last six months of that year no one could take the smile off my face. My room was running amazing, I was recieving some mind blowing feedback and I got to work with another of my best friends.

Maida was an amazing Educator and more importantly, a beautiful human being. She would walk into the room every day and greet myself and the children with a smile that was a very welcomed addition to the room. As an assistant, well, we were more like equals in the room. I always knew if I couldn't be in the room for one reason or another, I knew the room was always in safe capable hands. My time working in our Kinder 1 room together with Maida, was probably the happiest I had ever been in my life to date.

It was also during this time, that I transitioned from the old me to the new me, but I will save that story for another blog. 

Pretending to be Male in a Female dominated Industry (Part 2)

Tuesday 8th May 2018

Presenting as a male in a female dominated industry in itself was not an easy feat to achieve considering at that time, I was actually a rare occurrence. I mean to say, that not many men decided that Childcare was going to be for them. Even I had not gone into it for anything else other than to be a cook, which after the many horrid years working in retail was a huge career move at the ripe old age of 40. I never expected to end up out on the floor putting babies to sleep, changing nappies and chasing children around the yard. 

I had made myself very much at home in my little centre and although the Educators who I worked didn’t know it yet, they were the first ones who gave me the confidence for what was about to come. Their love, encouragement and support was something that had eluded me in my days of working in retail. So finally being encouraged and told that your doing an amazing job was totally foreign to me. 

Sadly, their were some down points such as every so often I’d get a parent walk in and give me this uncomfortable glance as if to say "What are you doing here? Is there something wrong with you that you want to spend your time with children." To be honest, it hurt at first and in that first year I almost walked away from the industry because of it. It was only because of the support that I received from my Director at the time and the growing number of families who would come to me and say things like, "Do you know what my child said last night." and begin telling me stories about how their child wouldn't stop talking about me. 

I also learnt very quickly that children are very much like parrots at times. Every so often I would here the words, "My child said this last night and we all laughed". Each time I would be forced to give a sly smile and say something like, "Yeah, that's mine". 

As time went on, the families became more accepting of a male in their centre and before long, those few parents that looked down upon me, were starting to ask me to look after their children for the weekend. I was quickly advised that may not be the smartest move and never took them up on the offer. 

I finally decided to kick my butt into gear and begin studying my Certificate 3 in Early Childhood Education. As you may remember from my first blog, schoolwork and I were never the best of friends. I struggled through the next 18 Months as I worked full time at the centre during the week and studied my Certificate on the weekend. After I had finished I decided that never again would I put myself or anyone else through that again. Having said that, the feeling of accomplishment was amazing for me considering this was the first real acknowledgement I'd received in my life. 

As time went on,  I came to one of the hardest decisions to date that I had made in my life. I was feeling the need to move away from my 39 place centre. It had been an agonising decision because I considered this centre my home and the people who worked their my family. The connections with some of the parents and their children, I still hold to this day. Thankfully, with the advent of social media I can still keep up to date with the goings on at my old centre as well as keep in contact with my families and beloved educators. This centre will always remain special in my heart and I will always be grateful to my amazing friend Mirren for taking a chance on me. 

Armed with my newly received Certificate 3 in Early Childhood Education, I enlisted the help of an Childcare agency to find me jobs. I would get phone calls early in the morning asking me to be at a certain centre by a certain time and would basically get ready and go. I enjoyed this work at first because I could end up anywhere and during this time I visited lots of amazing centres and some not so amazing. I remember going to a certain centre in the southern suburbs of Melbourne where I was honestly scared to leave my car during the day for fear there maybe nothing left of it but four hubcaps and a line of rubber heading up the road leading from where my car once stood. Thankfully that never happened but I have to admit, it was an experience. 

The centre it's self, was lovely considering the lower economic  area that it was based in. Apart from the constant fear of losing my car, I actually enjoyed going there. The Centre Director once told me that if I ever decided to leave the agency, that she would hire me in a heartbeat because of the way the children responded to me. Sadly, a lot of the children that attended the centre were from single parent families. Dad had ran off all fallen fowl of the law for one reason or another a lot of the children didn't have a father figure in their lives. With me at the centre, the children knew that I wasn't like the other Educators and knew that they could be a little more rougher with me. 

The children would regularly pull me this way and that as well as jump all over me, throw a ball at me for a game of catch or to kick it around the yard or they would just ask me to chase them around the yard in an endless game of Chase. I enjoyed every minute of the interactions that I had with these kids as you could tell they enjoyed every minute with me. Their enthusiasm even considering their surroundings was infectious. 

As much as I enjoyed the game of running the gauntlet each day with the car, I finally decided that I needed to place some roots in the ground and find myself a new more permanent arrangement because the early morning calls and the uncertainty of working or not especially during school holiday time began to worry me as if I didn't work, I didn't get paid. Thats when I found my home for the next five and a half years, literally three doors from my front door. 

I Am An Educator (Part 1)

Sunday 6th May 2018

#iamaneducator, a hastag that I have used a lot over the years in social Media. But what exactly does it mean? 

To different people it means a lot of different things, to me, it means that I have been given an amazing opportunity to help shape the minds of some equally amazing children who I have the privilege of spending time with each day. My day time job is my greatest passion in life and over this series of posts I invite you all to come on an amazing journey with me as I delve into what stokes my passion for this amazing profession. 

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. It seems like a good place to start after all. My name is Sharon Priestley, but I'm sure you can see that already at the top of the page. I have been an Early Childhood Educator for the past 8 years. Not a long time considering I have been on this earth for almost 49 years already (Arghhhh). 

I spent most of my life working in retail from the moment I left school. To be honest, school was not one of my favourite places to be as like a lot of children, I was bullied a lot and found going to School each day an unpleasant experience mostly. I really only excelled at a few topics such as Home Economics and English. Which in it's self is amazing because without the aide of a spellchecker on this document alone, you would probably be reading something that resembles a train crash. Spelling aside, I discovered I had a passion for writing and cooking in school. So, at the beginning of year 10, I decided to pull the plug and leave my education behind while I went to seek my fortune as a Celebrity Cookbook author. 

Sadly, that career never got off the ground because apparently you needed qualifications in cooking to be able to write about it and I wasn't at school long enough to achieve that. Go figure! I did what most school leavers did when they had virtually no qualifications, I started work in the retail industry. For the next 24 years I worked in an industry I hated. Dealing with adults is hard work at times. I worked in Department Stores where I rose to the dizzying heights as a Department Manger. I managed a second-hand store for a number of years as well as my last retail experience, working in a Piano shop with no knowledge of actually knowing how to play a musical instrument (talk about selling ice to Eskimos). 

I finally reached the age of 40 and thought, there has to be something better out there for me. As it turns out, my partner at the time told me about a job going for a cook at a Childcare Centre. I thought, why not, I'll give it a go, whats the worse that can happen? I mean I still loved cooking and how hard could it be to cook for a bunch of kids.......? (Oh God, take me now). 

I learnt very quickly that kids have no filter. If they don't like something, they will let you know in no uncertain terms. Even my most prized dishes that I had been cooking for years where not touched at times and that was seriously demoralising getting trolleys sent back with so much food in the scrape bucket. I had to learn that very quickly that preparing restaurant quality food when the children just wanted plain staples such as pasta, rice, mashed potato and fish fingers was the only way that i was going to keep these kids from going hungry. 

The centre where I worked was like a family, and being part of that family was amazing. It was a small 39 place centre and at times, if someone was sick, or they needed an extra hand on the floor, I would put away the apron and come out to help where needed. It was during this time, that I discovered my true passion in life. You know, I thought I had it all worked out and then something comes along and surprises you. Why hadn't i known this earlier I used to think to myself. 

The children began connecting to me like that hadn't done with the other educators in the past. I would walk into the room and within minutes I had children all wanting to sit next to me and spend time with me. To this day, the same thing happens. I can walk into a room of children I don't know and within minutes, they will be jumping over me and treating me like their own personal lounge chair. 

It's at this point I should probably make a little confession to you dear reader. When I started in this amazing industry, I presented as a Male. Now, your probably sitting back thinking "What". So, I will explain that a little further by saying I'm Transgender Educator, and thats where my story really begins.