Tuesday 1st January 2019
Let me kick this first post of the year off with Happy New Year to all of my amazing readers. I hope 2019 brings you all the joy, love and happiness that the year can provide. I would also like to thank you all for being apart of my journey and again thank you all for all the amazing feedback that you send me on my previous posts. You truly inspire me to keep this going.
As any Educator will tell you, reflections are just another part of life. We do them Daily, Weekly, Monthly as well as some do them by the School term or by the year. Its a chance for us to reflect on what we have done, what worked and what didn't and how we to tweak it a bit to make it better. Its also a chance to set individual and group goals to try an achieve over a certain time frame.
Over the past couple of years I have written down a few words of what I want to achieve for the New Year and do my best to stick by them as much as possible. Last year my goals were to let go of all the things that were holding me back from being the best that I could be. I began by letting go of all of the negativity of the past and all the clutter out of my life. No more emotionally draining friendships where it was always all one way. You know the kind, where you always there for someone when they need to unload but when you need someone, their never there.
I also began to believe in the power of positive thinking which led me to the law of attraction. Basically, if you surround yourself with positivity you will actually attract more positivity. I began to envisage a future where all i had to do was think about something I needed and eventually it would happen.
A great example of this was when my good friend Narcisa and I went into a shop one day. It was a crystal shop, in the past I have avoided these sorts of places but due to my love of all things purple, I wanted to see what Amethyst stones they had. While looking through the shop, I came across a group of figurines cut out of various stones. One of the designs was of Ganesha, the Indian God that is said to bestow great wisdom and fortune upon its followers. I remember thinking that this would be a perfect gift for one of my Best Friend's Mandeep.
Mandeep who I have spoken about previously, is my sister who introduced me to Indian culture and along with her fellow educators, kind of adopted me as one of their own. Ganesha was all over the shelf and I thought I wish there was a purple one because it made it all that more personal coming from me. Out of nowhere, a purple one appeared on the shelf that seriously wasn't there beforehand. I told my friend Narcisa what had just happened and I don't think she believed me straight away until I said, I wish there was another purple one so we could have a matching pair. All of a sudden Narcisa started laughing and eventually said, OMG, there's one right here. She picked it up and showed it to me. I replied, that so wasn't there before because I looked over every one of them. Narcisa agreed and from then on became a converted believer in the law of attraction.
My developing friendship with Narcisa over the past year was probably one of the many big positives to come out of the year. Walking away from the negative influences in my life, gave me a chance to focus on more positive people. Narcisa is a girl I worked with at a previous centre and a mutual friend of my other friend Maida. The three of us teamed up throughout the year for catch ups and a comedy show in the city. We also did things separately. For Narcisa and I it was our road trips. We'd just decide that we were going for a drive, jump in the car with some snacks and just drive.
It wouldn't matter if we were heading to somewhere close by like the Dandenong's or as far as Ballarat to visit Sovereign Hill, it was always a great day out just laughing at the silliest things and the funniest situations. It was great for us both just to spend some time away from the normality of our lives and take a chance to live in the moment. Some of our funniest moments were me telling Narcisa where we were headed and have her try to pronounce the name of our destination. The beautiful town of Warburton got absolutely butchered by Narcisa and remains a running joke to this day. This year I'll be looking for more places with Narcisa with even more complicated names. Places such as Eildon, Walhalla and Echuca are all places to be considered for this year. Thank you Narcisa for being such an amazing sport to endure my warped sense of humour but as you witnessed on Christmas Day, it came from somewhere.
Also last year I became more acquainted with some of the families of the children I had in my care from the previous year. At the end of 2017 I met two amazing twins that went on to shape one of the most amazing friendships of 2018. Robyn is the twins Mum and and an unbelievable source of inspiration to me. It all came about when I went to the twins house for a visit after work one Friday night and to say it was very clear that they had missed me was an understatement. They dragged me from one end of the house to the other eager to show off their rooms. Then came the birthday parties which were amazing. I offered myself to Robyn as a babysitter anytime she wanted and thankfully her and her Husband Rob took me up on the offer. One night Robyn told me that she needed some "Sharon time" so I invited her around to my place for a catch up. We got to talking about our Careers over a bottle of wine and how I wanted to take mine to the next step. Robyn suggested I begin writing a blog. Who would want to read my story? was my reply. Robyn told me that I shouldn't underestimate how many people would actually be interested. The next day, I wrote my first blog. To date I have 376 combined members over my two pages. This coming year brings more of my journey and things that I want to focus on in the future.
Although this year was all about positivity and gaining a new prospective, I once again became acquainted with the black hole of depression. For like a month in July, I lost perspective of everything and struggled to regain it for a while. I was sailing along so well that I decided to stop taking my anti-depressants thinking I don't need these anymore and I basically fell in a heap. Thankfully, my strong network of support managed to drag me back from the edge and I continued on. Wasn't one of my finest moments but it was a reminder that I still have a way to go.
I also finally decided to stop feeling guilty and responsible for my wife Maria (much to the sounds of thunderous applause from my friends). I finally came to this conclusion after she found yet another way to hurt me not once but twice. This particular time was extremely vindictive so I decided to basically cut her from my life all together. I blocked her from social media and blocked her mobile number so she couldn't contact me again. I finally felt free from her grasp and knew that I wasn't going to allow her to hurt me again.
Sadly this year there was a couple of deaths in the later part of the year which hit me quite hard. Firstly there was my Brother in law who passed away and because of me blocking Maria's number on my phone, I didn't get to hear about till two weeks after the fact by seeing it on Facebook. As soon as I realised what had happened, I contacted the family and thankfully was able to attend the funeral. I did expectantly run into Maria with her new partner which was more than a little awkward but we made it through without to much drama. The second person to pass this year was my Uncle. He was an amazing and kind human being who I admired a lot. Sadly over his last few years I hadn't seen him for a while and unfortunately due to work commitments, wasn't able to attend the funeral. I take comfort now that both of these relatives are in a much better place where pain can no longer hurt them.
One of my biggest and hardest decisions came around June for me. I made the move to an amazing centre in November of 2017. I Co-Room led the Kinder room with the amazing and talented Mandeep who I have spoken to at great lengths in a previous post. I was their to fill in for the Kinder teacher who was on maternity leave. By the time she returned I was the Educational Leader for the centre and implementing some huge changes in the way we did programing and documentation. This was a role I really enjoyed and the experience was invaluable. I was asked to go to fill in at another centre one day and I accepted and went. From the moment I walked in the door, I was blown away. The wow factor of this centre was huge.
Within two weeks, I had made the decision to move to this new centre after they offered me a position. It wasn't easy to leave one of my best friends and the people who excepted me as one of their own but necessary for my own growth. Within a week of being at my new centre I was offered the position as room leader for the 2-3 room and with my two amazingly talented assistants made our room the best it could be. This year I have been offered an exciting new role within the company that will see me reach goals that I have been working on for a while now. It will give me the opportunity to help shape our amazing centre for the future.
This year I also had the extreme pleasure of being apart of four very special birthday parties. The first one was Phoebe, then came Hugh and Isla. After that it was time for two special girls who I have known since they were the age of 3-4 and I had them in my care at the centre I was working at. This year, we celebrated their 10th Birthday with all of their Kinder friends from the same year. In November I headed to Sydney to help celebrate another special birthday. Once again I had this child in my centre. She was in the nursery room and her and I built a bond that has seen me last year drive to Sydney to help celebrate her 8th birthday party. I have said it before but I'm am so blessed and humble at the fact that I have been allowed to be such a big part of my kids lives.
My friends list over the past year has grown dramatically as I have met so many new amazing people. People I work with at my new centre, friends that I met over the year and the families of the children I tutor who have become friends also.
This year I want to focus on meeting more new people and hopefully find the girl of my dreams. I have envisaged her already, she will be amazing, kind and caring. She will have a beautiful heart and a loving soul and we will complete each others lives in every way. I'm also going to keep culling the negativity out of my life so nothing can hurt me again. I'm going to continue to write blogs, posting posts and fighting for Transgender people everywhere. My life is a life of love and acceptance and I believe if I keep pushing that message of love, public opinion will have to make the change accept that LGBTQI people are just people.
I have also decided that I'm going to find the courage at some point to walk back into Church. I have missed the fellowship with others and could use the guidance and direction of where God wants me to take this journey in the future.
Oh, and one more thing before I end this. This morning I made a promise to my longest best friend in the world. With a friendship lasting over 30 years and surviving two broken marriages I promised that before June this year I will come up to visit her. Rutha, I can't wait to see you soon.
So this is where I end this one, I would like to thank you all for your continued support of this page. Please feel free to share it to anyone who you think may benefit from its words. Also, if you have any questions that you want to ask me about my journey thus far, please feel free to inbox me from my Facebook page. Once again, I would like to wish everyone the brightest and glitter filled New Year possible.
Sharon
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